A Year in the Life of a Charms Professor
by madamsnape78
Summary: Ten years after the defeat of Voldemort, Hermione Granger is a Charms Professor at Hogwarts. As the anniversary of the Final Battle approaches, she finds herself dealing with unresolved grief and the return of Severus Snape.
1. A Vacant Position

Chapter 1- A Vacant Position

Charms Professor Hermione Granger looked up from the stack of papers she was organising as she had heard a swift knock at her door.

"Enter," she said briskly, expecting to see a student. It was with a mild surprise that she saw Minerva McGonagall enter her office.

"Minerva!" she said warmly as she rose from her desk. "What has brought you all the way over here?"

The older woman smiled at Hermione and sank into a soft armchair that Hermione had positioned close to her desk, gratefully accepting the cup of tea that was offered to her.

"Well, I have just come from the dungeons. I have had a talk with Professor Slughorn and it appears that he has had enough of his second career. He said that with the students leaving for the end of term tomorrow he intends to go back into retirement."

"You look disappointed," said Hermione between sips of tea. Her former teacher and the current Headmistress sighed.

"Oh, I cannot blame him. He is really quite old now and was never prepared to teach again long term. I daresay I am shocked that we got another ten years out of him. I just don't know what I am going to do. We have had a hard time filling positions ever since…" she let her voice trail away knowing that her thought did not need to be said aloud. Although Voldemort had finally been defeated, at great cost to the wizarding world, the reputation of Hogwarts had forever been tarnished by the untimely loss of the former Headmaster. Many of Britain's finest wizarding families were now sending their children to Durmstrang and Beauxbatons.

Hermione nodded in understanding. She studied the older woman for a moment. It seemed the Professor McGonagall had aged more than the nine years it had been since Hermione had last been a student at Hogwarts. Her hair was now all a steel grey beneath her pointed hat and her face was creased with lines from worry. It had only been because of her determination and stubbornness that Hogwarts had remained open at all after Dumbledore's death. She looked tired now and Hermione knew there were not many more years left before she also took the route of Horace Slughorn.

"Do you have any thoughts; anyone who would be particularly good in that position?"

"I cannot think of anyone," said Minerva shaking her head. "It has been well over fifty years since we have had anyone but Professors Slughorn and Snape."

Hermione thought for a moment before speaking, unsure if she should say the thought that was in her mind.

"I almost hate to ask, but have you considered…."

Minerva now shook her head violently and interrupted the younger woman before she could finish her sentence.

"No! No... he would never accept. As far as I know he is living as a recluse still on Spinners End. I have not seen him since the War Trials. Does Harry ever come across him on… business?"

Hermione smiled to herself thinking that was an odd way of referring to Harry's profession as an Auror. After the War, Harry had completed Auror training in record time- just under two years. It was no wonder considering he had already had more experience with dark wizards than most Aurors twice his age. It had been his task to hunt down the remaining Death Eaters. She knew that Severus Snape had been invaluable in that task, which was partially why his trial had been so short. But the last of the Death Eaters had been caught several years ago and as far as she knew that was the last of Harry's contact with the man.

"No, I don't believe he's seen him in several years. Snape made it clear that once the Death Eaters were captured he didn't want any more involvement."

"No, I don't suppose he would. I don't think he will ever recover and sadly I believe that much of the wizarding world still regards him as a traitor, regardless that he has long since been cleared," said Minerva drinking the last of the tea. She sat staring out the window behind Hermione for a moment before finally rising to her feet. "Well, I should get back to my office. There is much to do yet before the feast tonight. Do you have any plans for the summer?"

"Oh a little of this and that," said Hermione also rising to her feet to see Professor McGonagall to the door. "I plan to visit my parents and Harry and Ginny. They just had their first child, you know."

"I had heard," said Minerva. "A boy from what I understand. What did they name him?"

"Ronald James," said Hermione trying to keep her voice cheerful. When she looked up at Minerva she knew she had not achieved it. The woman was looking at her with a faint trace of pity, which Hermione was determined to ignore. "I've been told that he has Ginny's hair and Harry's eyes. I am looking forward to seeing him."

The older woman took her cue and said nothing about the name. No matter how many years would pass, some things were still unspeakable, and Ron Weasley's death at the hand of Bellatrix Lestrange was one of them.

"I am sure he is beautiful. You will have to tell me all about him when you return in the autumn.

"I will be sure to give them your regards," Hermione said warmly as she shut the door behind the retreating professor. She turned back to her desk and sat for a moment thinking. It was true that they had had a difficult time filling positions at Hogwarts. They had never found anyone to replace Professor McGonagall and she had been teaching Transfiguration as well as fulfilling her duties as Headmistress. Although, they had been lucky to finally find a steady Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher who had started three years previous; just a year before Hermione herself had taken her position upon Professor Flitwick's retirement.

Hermione had to have a small laugh to herself. Who would have ever thought Neville Longbottom of all people would have ended up teaching Defence? It had turned out that Neville was quite a brilliant wizard in his own right and had shown it during the Final Battle. No one, besides Harry, had had such an impact on its outcome, killing both Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy. If only he had killed her just a minute sooner…. Hermione stopped that train of thought. 'If only' was a phrase she had banished from her vocabulary just as she had attempted to banish thoughts of the Final Battle from her memory.

She turned to look out the window watching the children lounging on the grounds enjoying the warm weather. They appeared very young and carefree and it was hard for her to remember ever being so carefree. She smiled to herself.

'_I suppose that's because I never was_,' she thought to herself. It was true she never had the chance to truly enjoy the end of term as a student at Hogwarts. It seemed that the end of the year was always marked by some kind of trouble for her, Ron and Harry. Usually one or the other of them (if not all three) were in the hospital wing. Except seventh year when strangely enough Voldemort had decided to make trouble for them earlier in the year. Although the end of the year had not been any more enjoyable for those who were left to see it.

She turned away from the window and returned to her desk to finish the remaining tasks before she left for the majority of the summer. The afternoon passed quickly and soon it was time for the end of year feast. She gave a final look over her office, decided that everything was in order and walked down to the Great Hall. It never failed to seem empty at the High Table without Hagrid. He had died during the Final Battle trying to defend his brother Grawp from Aurors who had mistaken him as a giant under the direction of Voldemort. The loss of both Hagrid and Grawp was devastating to all of the Order. No matter how many years would pass Hermione didn't think it would ever look the same without his towering figure there.

As she took her place at the High Table she smiled at Neville who was already deep into conversation with Professor Sprout. Although he was the Defence teacher, he still had a great love (and time consuming hobby) with Herbology. Hermione often thought that he would probably take over for Professor Sprout when she retired.

"I was interested to see your article in _Herbology Today_ regarding the various magical uses of the _Mimbulus mimbletonia_," she heard him saying. "I have often found it to be an underrated plant and thought your article was a refreshing change."

Their conversation was then forced to come to a quick end before Professor Sprout could respond, as Professor McGonagall had risen to her feet to address the students. She kept her speech brief, awarding the House Cup to Ravenclaw, and the food quickly appeared in front of them. As they began eating, Neville turned his attention to Hermione.

"So, I hear you are an Aunt now, Hermione," he said as he reached for the roasted potatoes.

"So I have been told! Little Ronald was born just two weeks ago. I can't wait to be able to hold him myself," said Hermione as she poured herself some pumpkin juice.

"Luna visited them last weekend. She felt the need to owl me straight away with every detail."

"How is Luna doing? I haven't seen her in quite a while. Last I knew she was doing a research paper on 'Muggle Mosters of Legend.'

Neville nodded while he swallowed a large mouthful of roast beef., "we are going on a muggle tour in search of the Loch Ness Monster this summer. I'm a little nervous. I've never spent much time around muggles before."

"Oh I'm sure you two will have a wonderful time!"

"Well, there are several rather rare magical plants that grow in the loch that I'm hoping to sneak around to examine. I've promised Pomona samples if I can manage it," Neville said, brightening at the thought.

The rest of the evening passed pleasantly for both students and teachers and as Hermione rose to leave she bade good-bye to Professor Slughorn.

"We are all going to miss you, Horace," she said embracing him. "You have done so much for Hogwarts. What would we have done without you?"

"Nonsense child," he said patting her arm. "You all would have been just fine. Now remember what I've said. If you ever tire of teaching I have some excellent contacts in the Ministry. Just imagine what you could do in the Department of Mysteries."

Hermione laughed shaking her head, "I will keep that in mind, but I have never felt at home anywhere but Hogwarts. If you recall, I gave the Ministry a try before I began teaching. Government is not for me."

"The Muggle Liaison Office was no place for your brilliant mind. All that bureaucracy! They didn't know what a good thing they had."

Hermione just smiled and thanked the professor again before departing back to her rooms. She had already mostly packed her trunk for the summer, just a few things left to be packed in the morning. She was planning on taking the Hogwarts Express back to London where Harry and Ginny would meet her to take her back to their flat for the next week or so. She was looking forward to seeing them as she hadn't seen them since Christmas when she had agreed to join them at the Burrow. Although it had been a more somber occasion than it used to be, with the loss of both Ron and Fred in the war, it had still been wonderful to see everyone.

The family had grown considerably in the past decade, with Bill and Fleur and their two children, who were visiting from their home in France, Charlie and his Romanian muggle wife Katya with their son and Percy (who had long since asked for, and received forgiveness from his family) with his wife Penelope. George had never married and seemed to bury his grief by playing the roll of the playboy. He always had a girlfriend at family occasions, but it was never the same one twice.

As was her habit, Hermione immediately forced her thoughts out of her mind. She had long since realised that life was much easier while ignoring the past. She quickly readied herself for bed taking her Sleeping Potion. Although she tried not to take it often (Madam Pomfrey had warned her it could be addictive when she first went to her for it in her seventh year) some nights the memories were too much. As she finally fell into her bed and her mind started to drift into unconsciousness, her last thoughts were of Ron, a flash of green light, and blank staring eyes.


	2. A Welcome Visit

Chapter 2- A Welcome Visit

"Hermione!" she heard a voice call as soon as she stepped of the Hogwarts Express. "Hermione! Over here!"

Hermione turned her head in the direction of the voice trying to pull her bushy hair out of her face. She quickly scanned the crowd of parents and children to see the messy dark hair of her best friend peaking up over everyone's head. She pulled her trunk and Crookshanks' cage off the train with her and headed in his direction. The moment she reached him he pulled her into a hug, barely allowing her enough time to drop her trunk first.

"Harry!" she said returning his fierce hug. "It's so good to see you. Look at you! Being a father must really be good for you."

Harry laughed good-naturedly as he reached over to help her with her belongings. Hermione studied her friend for a moment while he did. The final battle with Voldemort had nearly destroyed Harry and he still carried the scars, both physical and emotional. He now walked with a significant limp and the left side of his face had the look of being badly burned, but he still had the innocent look of a little boy in his eyes.

"I'm sure Ginny would be the first to agree with you," he said as he looked over at the cage she still held. "Ah, did you have to bring that mangy old thing?" he said laughing in a teasing voice.

"Oh, very funny. Crookshanks knows you're joking." She glanced around the platform, "where's Ginny and the baby?"

"Oh there was a last minute change of plans. Apparently Ronnie decided that it was dinner time a little early, so they decided to stay home. Makes things easier, really. This way we can just apparate rather than messing with Muggle transportation. Ginny hates to do side along apparition with the baby. She's always afraid she's going to end up Splinching him."

Hermione winced at the thought and said nothing more as they crossed the barrier into the Muggle part of the train station. They carefully found a secluded spot where no one could see them and then quickly apparated to the alley behind Harry and Ginny's flat.

"So, how was the rest of your year at Hogwarts?" Harry asked as they made their way inside the building and up to the second landing.

"Oh, all right, I suppose," said Hermione, quickly running out of breath. "Horace has finally decided he's had enough of us and is going into retirement again. I don't know what Minerva is going to do. She is not only going to have to replace the Potions position, but also the Slytherin Head of House. None of the other teachers were Slytherin so no one there now can do it."

She said nothing more as they had now reached Harry and Ginny's front door. He quickly unlocked it and Hermione was greeted with a sudden rush of red hair flying toward her.

"Hermione!" cried Ginny, pulling her into a hug even tighter than Harry's had been. "It is _so_ good to see you. We really need to see each other more often."

Hermione returned the hug, trying to loosen Ginny's grip as she felt that she was quickly loosing breath.

"It's good to see you too Ginny!" she said as they released their hold on each other. "Now where is that beautiful baby I have heard so much about? Both Minerva and Neville send their congratulations."

Ginny and Harry led her inside. Hermione immediately noticed that the once immaculate flat was now littered with baby bottles and nappies.

"Sorry about the mess," said Harry trying in vain to quickly pick up a couple bottles lying near the sofa. Ginny went down the hall and soon came out with a small baby tightly swaddled in a blanket.

"Ronnie," she said in a soft voice, "this is your Aunt Hermione." She then handed the bundle over to Hermione who carefully, and nervously, took him from his mother.

Hermione looked down at the baby boy. He had a head full of bright red hair. '_Weasley red',_ she thought to herself and as she stood patting and rocking him he slowly opened his little eyes. Sure enough, they were a beautiful green just the same shade has Harry's.

"He's beautiful," Hermione said looking up at her friends.

"We certainly think so," said Harry gazing fondly down at his son. "We think his uncle would have been very proud."

Hermione could feel both their eyes on her as if waiting for a reaction. She felt her eyes begin to water almost as a reflex and she forced them back. When she thought it was safe, she looked up at them.

"I think little Ronnie wants his Dad," she said. Harry laughed and took the baby from her. The three went to sit in the living room.

"So Hermione," began Ginny, "are there any attractive young teachers over at Hogwarts these days?"

Hermione saw Harry shoot a glare at his wife. It was clear that she was not supposed to be bringing the subject up.

"Um, they're mostly the same teachers that were there when we went. Except Snape's gone and Neville's there. Why?

"Just curious," said Ginny shrugging her shoulders. "I just don't want you to become a hermit."

Hermione bristled at the implication. "I am not a hermit! I just like to have my own space."

Ginny said nothing to argue the point, much to Hermione's relief, and soon went into the kitchen to work on dinner. As soon as she was out of hearing range, Harry leaned over to whisper to Hermione.

"I'm sorry about that," he said quietly. "Ginny means well. She just doesn't like to see you alone. It's been so long..." He paused there unsure if he should continue or not. Hermione sighed.

"I know, Harry. It's just so hard. I mean, what if it had been Ginny? Do you think you ever could have moved on?"

"I don't know," Harry said looking down at his feet. "Forget she said anything okay? Really, Hermione. We just want you to be happy; whether that's as a hermit or not."

Hermione smiled at him. This was why they had been such good friends for so long. All they ever wanted was to see each other happy.

"It's okay," she said patting his hand. "Now what is that Ginny is cooking? It smells wonderful."

The rest of the day passed pleasantly with Hermione making as much fuss over Ronnie as possible and the three reminiscing about their school days. It was a pleasant and relaxed atmosphere and Hermione felt as much at home there as she did at Hogwarts. As evening stretched into night they talked about their plans while Hermione was there.

"I know Mum and Dad are going to want to see you," said Ginny gently rocking her son. "We told George that you were coming as well so I wouldn't be surprised if he stopped in sometime. He tries to stay busy between the shop and his 'social life' but I think he can squeeze in a few hours for family and old friends."

Hermione nodded feeling drowsy. Harry looked over at her and smiled.

"You look like you're about to fall asleep. Let me show you to the spare room. You need to catch up on your sleep from a hard year of teaching."

Harry showed Hermione to her room while Ginny put the baby down. Hermione slipped in between the soft covers and for the first time in a long while she did not have nightmares when she fell asleep.

The rest of the week passed quickly and pleasantly for Hermione. Harry had taken off work for the week and Ginny was still on leave from Gringott's. They had a lovely time shopping in Diagon Alley and Hermione ran into several old classmates that she had not seen since starting her position at Hogwarts.

"My boy Edward will be starting Hogwarts in just a couple years," said Ernie Macmillan who they had run into one day at Flourish and Blots. He and Hannah Abbott had married almost straight out of school. "No question whether he's a wizard. The other day we caught him on top of the neighbour's roof. No clue how he got there." Ernie had laughed heartily and Harry had recounted a similar experience he had as a child.

On the last night before Hermione was to go to her parents, Arthur, Molly and George joined them at Harry and Ginny's for dinner. Hermione was glad to see them as she thought of them like a second family to her. Molly was thinner and quieter than she had once been. The loss of two of her children had nearly killed her at the time. Arthur was now mostly gray with only a sprinkle of the trademark Weasley red hair. But they were the same loving and kind family that they had always been.

Molly and Arthur were the first to arrive and Hermione gave them both hugs as they came through the door.

"Hermione dear," said Molly as they released their hold on each other, "it's so good to see you! You're looking a little thin. Haven't those house elves as Hogwarts been feeding you enough?"

"Nonsense, Molly," said her husband coming in from behind her holding a very large wrapped package, clearly for the baby, "she looks lovely as always. It's good to see you Hermione!"

He handed the package to Ginny who quickly unwrapped it. She stared looking at it dumbfounded for several minutes and Harry and Hermione exchanged a quick grin.

"Oh! It's a…. it's… What is it Dad?" She looked up at her father in confusion.

"It's a baby swing," said Arthur obviously very excited. "Muggle contraption. It runs on batteries!" Clearly he thought this was the best part.

"It's supposed to help sooth the baby," said Hermione as she helped Ginny take it out of the box. "My cousin had one when I was little."

After the swing had been set up and tried out on Ronnie who seemed to delight in the music and flashing lights, they all went into the kitchen. Ginny had roast beef in the oven and had potatoes peeling and chopping themselves by the sink. They sat around the table drinking butterbeers and chatting when they heard a knock at the door.

"Oh, that must be George," said Ginny as she jumped up to answer. Sure enough, several moments later Ginny re-entered the room with George trailing behind her.

"Hey Hermione!" he said cheerfully after he had greeted both his parents. "How's life at Hogwarts?"

"About the same as it's always been," she said smiling fondly at the young man. George still acted like the same cheerful happy-go-lucky man he had always been, but somehow he had seemed a little diminished since his twin's death. His smiles never quite reached his eyes and it seemed that he was always waiting for someone to finish his sentence.

Ginny announced that dinner was ready and they all settled down to the table. It was generally agreed upon that Ginny's cooking could only be rivalled by her mother and everyone enjoyed themselves down to the treacle tart for dessert.

"So, I heard through some people at the Ministry that old Horace Slughorn has finally retired again," said Arthur as they finished their dessert. "Does Minerva have any ideas of who to replace him with?

"None at all," said Hermione shaking her head. She thought for a moment before continuing, "I had suggested seeing if Snape would be interested in returning, but Minerva seemed to think that he wouldn't even consider it. Have either of you heard anything of him lately?" she looked over at both Arthur and Harry.

"I haven't heard a thing," said Arthur, "but then I'm not in a department that would hear a lot of that information. What about you Harry?"

"The last time I saw him was over a year ago. A couple of interesting items had turned up at Borgin and Burkes that I thought he might have some information on. He made it quite clear then that he wanted to be left alone. He said he had done his part and if he ever saw my 'arrogant, snot-nosed face' again he would hex me off the map. Charming as always," grunted Harry.

Although Harry now had a grudging respect for his former Potions Professor, Snape was still far from his favourite person. Once it had become clear that Snape had been acting on Dumbledore's orders when he killed him, Harry had ended his need for vengeance, however he still felt slighted from all those years he was tortured in class.

"Slimy git!" mumbled George. "I bet in all our years at Hogwarts Fred and I lost twice the points to Snape as we did any other professor."

"Oh and I'm sure you never deserved any of it, did you?" said Molly with a gleam in her eye. George smirked for a moment and appeared to be lost in time.

"Well, maybe _some_ of it was deserved…"

The whole table laughed and Harry, Ginny, Hermione and George spent the next several minutes reminiscing about some of the more memorable pranks the twins had pulled. It was only when the subject of their exit from school came up and Molly looked as if she was about to launch into a lecture that they decided to change the subject.

"So, how is the shop going, George?" asked Hermione as Harry began clearing dishes off the table with a flick of his wand.

"Booming, as usual. I just had to hire a new manager since I have to spend so much time away researching new products. Her name is Natalie McDonald. I don't know if you would remember her or not. She was in Gryffindor but she was a few years behind you lot. I think I was in sixth year when she started."

Hermione nodded faintly remembering the shy young girl. She had never had much interaction with her but she seemed nice enough.

"I remember her a little. How is that working out for you?"

"Spectacular. It's like she can read my mind and knows what should be done even before I do. I've never seen such a hard worker." Then George took a quick look at his wrist, "look at the time! Hey, I hate to eat and run, but I've got a date and she'll wring my neck if I'm late again!"

"Oh, you're seeing the same girl twice?" said Ginny smirking at her brother. "Must be serious."

"Very funny, Gin," he said giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, "bye Mum, Dad, Harry. It was nice to see you Hermione. If you get a chance stop by the shop; fifty percent off anything in the store." And with that he was out the door.


	3. Favors

A/N: I lost my beta a while back and was not planning on finishing this since I didn't want to go through the trouble of finding a new one. But, I like the story and decided to go ahead and post it anyway. So please excuse the spelling/punctuation/grammar errors you are sure to come across. Thanks!

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Chapter 3- Favors

Hermione left for her parents' house the next day and the next several weeks passed by as quickly and happily as the time at Harry and Ginny's had. Her parents always enjoyed having her and doted on her while she was there. She spent most of her days sitting quietly and reading or watching Muggle television, something she never was able to do and always enjoyed. She helped her parents out around the house as they always enjoyed seeing her use her household spells. Her mother often commented that she wished she could have been a witch as well if it meant she would never have to wash dishes again. Only when her mother made comments hinting how much she would like to have a son-in-law and a few grandchildren did Hermione start to wish for the solitude of Hogwarts.

As July came to a close, Hermione decided that it was time to head back to Hogwarts to prepare for the coming year. It would be nearly empty now as many of the professors had summer accommodations away from the school and she thought the peace and quiet would allow her to get more work done. After having the relaxing break she felt more at peace with her life than she had in years and had only had to resort to the Sleeping Potion a few times since arriving at her parents. Although her mother had commented a couple times that she had heard her talking in her sleep she always woke feeling rested and rarely did she have the feeling of panic that used to accompany her wherever she went.

Hermione arrived back at Hogwarts early in the morning. It was Harry's birthday so she had owled a present to him before she apparated back to just outside Hogwarts grounds. It turned out that sometimes Horace Slughorn's connections did come in handy.

She had managed to get an autographed picture of the Chudley Cannons.

She spent several hours emptying her trunk after she had let Crookshanks out of his cage to explore the grounds. By late morning she felt satisfactorily organized as she looked around her quarters. Nothing seemed to be out of place and, in fact, it looked as though she had not left at all. She left her rooms and headed down to the Great Hall as it was nearly lunch time. Her stomach growled and she realized that she had skipped breakfast that morning.

When she reached the Great Hall, it was, indeed, almost entirely empty. The only other person sitting there was Professor McGonagall who appeared to have also just arrived and was taking her place at the High Table. She looked up as Hermione entered the hall and walked over to the table.

"Hermione! I didn't know you were going to be back so soon," she said as she dished up some steak and kidney pie. Hermione sat next to her and also began helping herself to the food.

"Well, I spent a week with Harry and Ginny and several weeks with my parents, but it just seemed to be time to come back. I'm planning to review my entire N.E.W.T. curriculum. I just don't feel that it prepares the students well enough for their careers."

The two women sat chatting companionably for a few moments enjoying the food and the opportunity to talk uninterrupted. Hermione enjoyed holidays at Hogwarts. The castle seemed like a different place entirely when students weren't there.

"Have you had any luck finding a new Potions professor?" she asked as they finished their meal.

The older professor shook her head. "No I haven't. I fear that we are quickly running out of time. Unfortunately the old Educational Decree Number Twenty two was never repealed by the Ministry. If we cannot find a replacement for Professor Slughorn soon, the Ministry will have to appoint one. And I don't think I need to remind you how well that turned out the last time."

Hermione shuddered with the thought. Poor Harry still had the scars engraved into his hand.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I suppose the only option I have left is to go grovel on Professor Snape's door and beg him to come back," Professor McGonagall said visibly shuddering. "I actually just owled him yesterday and requested a meeting with him. Hopefully he will respond soon before it's too late."

"Do you think he will guess what you're wanting?" asked Hermione as they rose from the table and made their way to the doors.

"Oh I don't doubt it. Severus is an angry and bitter man but he's not stupid. Even when we taught together we were never friendly with each other. He knows this is not a social call."

"Well, I wish you luck! I spoke to Harry about him and he seems set on living out the rest of his life in solitude."

As they reached to Entrance Hall, they went their separate ways. Hermione thought back to the last time she had seen Professor Snape. It was only a day after the Final Battle, which had taken place at Riddle Manor. She was at St. Mungo's sitting at Harry's bedside with Ginny, Molly and Arthur. Harry was still unconscious and she was in shock from the loss of Ron. Looking back on it, she realized that her memories of that time were hazy. Snape had been admitted himself the day before after sustaining numerous injuries. The Death Eaters had gone after him with only slightly less enthusiasm than Harry himself.

He had been in the same ward as Harry, just two beds down. But he was leaving while Harry was still lying in bed hovering near death. He had stopped by Harry's bed for a moment. Hermione remembered registering his presence and had briefly looked up. It had appeared he was going to say something for a moment but she had looked back down and buried her face into Harry's sheets unable to meet his gaze. Whether he ever said anything she never knew. When she looked up again, several minutes later, he had left. She had not been able to bring herself to go to the trials and so she had never had a reason to come across him again.

That night Hermione woke up with the feeling of panic overtaking her again. She had taken the last of the Sleeping Potion the week before and she knew she would have trouble getting more from Madam Pomfrey. The last time she had gone to her she had been forced to endure a lecture that had lasted at least half an hour. It was only when she had promised the healer that she had not been using it for the last decade (which was, of course, a lie) that she was able to get it. She lay in bed cursing herself for allowing herself to remember those nightmarish days. It was a long several hours before the sky began to lighten and by the time the sun was completely up Hermione felt as though she had not slept at all. It was with some surprise that shortly after getting dressed she received a knock on her door. It was with even greater surprise that she saw Professor McGonagall on the other side looking rather out of sorts.

"Minerva?" she said opening the door wide enough for the other witch to enter. "What on earth is wrong?"

"I have just received an owl from Professor Snape," she said holding up a piece of parchment. "He wants me to come to his house today."

"Well, that's good news isn't it?" asked Hermione beginning to feel confused.

"Well it would have been but I have a meeting already scheduled with Minister Shaklebolt to discuss Hogwart's declining enrollment. I can't very well keep the Minister of Magic waiting."

"Oh dear," said Hermione now understanding Minerva's reason for panic. "That does put you on the spot doesn't it?"

"Hermione, I hate to ask you this. Especially considering your….history with Professor Snape, but none of the other professors are even here for me to ask. It would be doing me a great favor if you would go in my place."

Hermione looked at her in shock. Surely she could not be serious. "Minerva, surely there is someone, anyone, who would be better to ask. Professor Snape did not merely dislike me; he loathed Harry, Ron and I to the point of attempting to get us expelled. I cannot imagine anyone less likely to convince him to return to Hogwarts."

"I would not ask if I had any other choice. Hermione, there is no one." Minerva was as close to panic as Hermione had ever seen her. "Please, Hermione. I am having a hard enough time keeping this school open. We _need_ a Potions professor. I am desperate."

Hermione sighed and nodded her head. "Okay. I will go. What time is he expecting you?"

"Eleven o'clock," said Minerva visibly calming down. "He said in his owl that he has added himself back onto the floo network specifically for this occasion. He seemed to think that would be better than apparition. I also have here the salary we are prepared to offer him. It is quite a substantial raise from when he was last here. I am hoping that if nothing else, his lack of funds will persuade him to return." She then handed the parchment containing the necessary information over to Hermione before wishing her a quick good luck and rushing out the door with an air of being relieved.

Hermione looked down at the parchment and read the short letter enclosed.

_Professor McGonagall,_

_I have received your owl and agree to meet you regarding your desire for me to return to Hogwarts, as foolish and self-serving as it may be. I have added myself to the floo network and request that you do not apparate as I cannot guarantee your safety in this neighborhood outside of these walls. I also request that you come alone. I have no desire to be stared at or treated like a carnival attraction. Please floo to Number twenty three Spinner's End at 11:00 a.m. sharp. _

_Severus Snape_

Hermione groaned aloud as she finished reading it. He couldn't even be polite in writing. Clearly Minerva had been right when she said that he would see through her attempt to visit.

"No wonder she was in such a hurry to get out the door," mumbled Hermione to herself. She then looked at the rest of the information Minerva had given her and gasped when she saw the figures for his salary. It was nearly twice what she herself was making. Granted, he had many years experience over her, but she was willing to guess that it was more than any other professor. As she mulled this over in her thoughts, she went back to her wardrobe. She couldn't very well appear in Snape's fireplace looking less than professional. After much agonizing, she finally setting on a set of dark green robes and tried in vain to pull her hair back into a tight bun. In the end she had to settle for her frizzy hair in a jumbled mess at the nape of her neck.

As eleven o'clock neared, Hermione could feel her stomach turning over until she began to feel sick. She was so busy trying to calm herself down that before she realized it the clock over her mantle was chiming. Nearly tripping in her sudden haste, she threw a handful of floo powder into the fire and nearly shouted "Number twenty three Spinner's End" before the green flames and spinning carried her away.


	4. Fireplaces and Fire Whiskey

Chapter 4- Fireplaces and Fire Whiskey

Severus Snape also awoke at an unusually early hour that morning with a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. He had known that someday he would receive it, but as the years had passed he had hoped that perhaps Hogwarts had forgotten about its famous (or infamous) Potion's Master. Long years of habit had trained him to not even think about all those years he had spent there. Teaching those foolish children and, in the last hellish years, serving as a spy for Albus Dumbledore. But when the owl had arrived, he had known that the day he dreaded was here.

Yes, he could have just ignored that owl, or sent back a reply that he had no interest in being visited by people who wished he was in his grave rather than those other souls more unfortunate than he. But something had stopped him. Perhaps a sick kind of curiosity to discover how Hogwarts was really doing. He had received news that the enrollment had dropped and they were having a hard time filling positions (Longbottom teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts indeed!) but perhaps he just wanted to hear about it first hand. Or perhaps, he thought with a smirk, he really just wanted to see Minerva McGonagall beg. See her in all her Gryffindor arrogance being forced to beg favors from Dumbledore's murderer. Yes, that had an amusing ring to it.

Or perhaps, he thought as he took a quick drink of fire whiskey, he could do nothing but imagine Albus' reaction if he did not respond. Of all things that infuriated him, it was the fact that the former Headmaster seemed to have taken up residence as his conscience that frustrated him the most. Why couldn't the man stay as dead in his thoughts as he was in reality? That was mostly what had driven Severus into seclusion. He could no longer tolerate both the constant berating from his own mind and the looks he was forced to endure when out it wizarding society. Eventually it became too much and he forced himself into seclusion with only his mind to torture him. He did, on occasion, receive a very few guests. Mostly unwelcome ones, such as Potter. He was the worst of all. Not because of the malice he held in his eyes, but because, of all things, the lack of it. Harry Potter. The one person on earth who had every reason to hate Severus Snape, the boy who had lost both his parents and his closest mentor because of his actions, did not treat him with the cold contempt that most strangers did.

"Stupid Gryffindors," he muttered taking another, longer, drink. "Don't even know how to hate like normal people."

But he did, on occasion, have guests that were somewhat welcome. People from his past that were neither Death Eaters nor members of the Order. People who preferred to ignore all that had transpired and who generally avoided the subjects. He had allowed these guests only because of his fear he would lose his mind if he spoke to no one; he did not consider any of them friends.

But otherwise, he spent most days shut up in his dilapidated home. He rarely ventured outside as the neighborhood had become more and more crime ridden and it was even rarer that he ventured anywhere where he would be recognized. He had most of his material needs owled to him at regular intervals as he had agreements with most of the shopkeepers in Diagon Alley. So there was rarely a need to travel outside these four walls. On the days when he felt he could not take the seclusion any longer, he apparated to a forest in the north, not far from Hogwarts. He would spend the day sitting in quiet contemplation listening to the wind and breathing the fresh cool air. The first time he had done this he had actually gone to the Forbidden Forest, but the memories had been too much and he had been forced to find another place to visit.

He paced back and forth in the front parlor glancing at the clock every few minutes wondering why he hadn't scheduled this for an earlier time. The sooner it was over with the sooner he could go back to his misery in peace. At least she would be on time, he thought to himself as he glanced at the clock yet again. One thing he could give Minerva credit for, she was punctual.

Sure enough, just as his clock finished chiming the hour, he saw a quick whirl of dark green robes. However, it was with both shock and dismay when he saw that it was not the Headmistress of Hogwarts who had entered his dingy sitting room.

"What are you doing here?" he spat at the young woman before she had even fully climbed out of the fireplace. "Where is Professor McGonagall?"

"Hello, Professor Snape," Hermione said clearly trying to keep her voice steady. "I'm afraid Professor McGonagall was unavoidably detained. She sends her regrets that she was not able to come personally."

"I'm sure she is overcome with disappointment," he growled in annoyance wishing now he had refused this meeting after all. It was one thing to be forced to deal with McGonagall, but instead to be forced into the company of the know-it-all Granger. Potter's lackey! It was more than he could stand. And look at her! Granted, she had at least managed to dress appropriately, but her hair was a mess, she looked like skin and bones and the dark shadows under her eyes gave her the look of a raccoon.

"Couldn't she have at least sent a suitable replacement? You look worse than Potter did lying in the hospital bed. Hell, you even look worse than Weasley at his own funeral." He noted with satisfaction that her face flushed a dark red, whether from anger or embarrassment he could not tell, and for a moment he thought he saw her eyes shine suspiciously bright. He took another drink.

"I was the only one available on such short notice," Hermione said regaining control over her emotions. "And I don't believe I am here for you to critique my appearance."

"It is just as well McGonagall didn't bother coming herself. This will be a short trip for you, Miss Granger. I have no intention of returning to Hogwarts, now or ever."

"And may I ask why?"

"You may ask whatever you want, but you may not like the answers," he snarled at her. "I hate to crush any childhood notions you had about your professors while you attended at Hogwarts, but I never had any desire to be a teacher. I was there only because of the protection I received from Dumbledore. Now that he is gone and the war is over, I have no reason to be there.

Hermione frowned. She didn't know what she had expected when she agreed to do this, but somehow she expected him to be a little more….polite.

'_Stupid_', she thought to herself. Since when had Snape ever been polite?

"Do you not feel any loyalty toward the school?"

"None whatsoever," he said as he took another drink.

"Do you realize the precarious situation that Hogwarts is in, Professor? We cannot open our doors if we do not have teachers to fill all the positions."

"And why should that concern me?" he asked sitting down on a faded armchair. He had not offered her a seat and was amused by the fact that she was forced to continue standing. "In case you never noticed, Miss Granger, I hate children. I could care less if the children of Britain's wizards and witches receive their education at Hogwarts or elsewhere."

"And what do you think Professor Dumbledore would have thought of this?" she asked hoping he still had his one soft spot for the old Headmaster.

Inwardly Severus cringed. Of anything she could say, he had hoped that she would not have had the nerve to mention Albus.

"And why would I care what that foolish old man would have thought?" he lashed out at her. "Dumbledore is dead, Miss Granger. I would have thought you would have noticed by now."

Hermione tried in vain to cover the shock that his words had given her. She had never met a more cold-hearted person in her life. She quickly mulled over her options in her mind as to how best to convince him to return. She decided that perhaps the only way to get him to respond would be to treat him the same way he was treating her. With careful deliberation she looked around the room, plastering a sneer on her face as she did.

"So this is how you're living now is it Snape?" she asked purposefully dropping the title of Professor. He wasn't a professor now anyway, she reasoned.

"What do you mean by that?" he snarled at her. Hermione continued to look disdainfully at the shabby room.

"Well, considering that you used to be Head of Slytherin, I would have thought you would have objected to living in poverty. After all, where are the house-elves to do the cleaning?" She looked up at him and it appeared that her words had found their mark. His pale face had colored slightly and his eyes were noticeably darker.

"I don't believe, _Granger_, that it is any of your concern how I choose to live."

"Oh, this is a choice then?" she asked innocently. "I was under the impression you were short on funds, which is, of course, the main reason why I am here. Professor McGonagall has authorized me to offer you this as a salary if you agree to return." She handed him the piece of parchment she had been carrying in her robes.

Severus took the parchment from her and noticed with some satisfaction that for all her bravado, her hand was trembling slightly. He looked down at it and tried to conceal his reaction. This was considerably more than he had been expecting to be offered. True, he had no desire to teach again, but he could not deny that he was quickly running out of money. Unlike many Slytherins, his family had had no great wealth and although he had received some compensation from the Ministry for his services to the Order, it was not enough to last a lifetime; even as short a lifetime as he hoped he would have.

"So, Minerva has resorted to buying me off, has she?" he asked looking up at Hermione.

"I believe she thought there might be need for some additional persuasion," Hermione said honestly.

"If I agree to do this, I want it understood that it will only be for one year. One year and then I don't give a bloody damn what needs to be done to keep the doors open. I am gone." He paused for a moment, thinking. "And I suppose she wants me to be Head of Slytherin again as well?"

"There is no one else."

"That, Miss Granger, is apparent." He walked over to a small writing desk and pulled out a roll of parchment and a quill. Hermione stood still barely breathing while he quickly wrote and then sealed a letter, addressing it to the Headmistress. He then walked over and handed it to her.

"Tell her that I will be arriving the week before the start of term. I expect everything in my rooms will be in order."

Hermione nodded and as she walked over to the fireplace he called after her. "And be sure to let her know that I am rather disappointed with the quality of teachers they have been hiring the last several years. No wonder she is so desperate for my return."

Hermione looked back at him in shock. "I will do that, Professor, but may I suggest you sober up before returning to Hogwarts? Professor McGonagall may frown upon having a drunk teaching the students."

He just sneered and turned away. Clearly she had been dismissed. She turned back to the fireplace, threw in a handful of floo powder from a small dish on the mantle and in a dull, exhausted voice said, "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry".

As soon as she was gone, Severus sank back down into the armchair feeling exhausted. He had never planned to return to the school and wondered now what had possessed him to do it. He wasn't that desperate for money. Surely there were other options.

"_What would Professor Dumbledore have thought_," he heard her voice echo in his head.

"Damn you Dumbledore," he said out loud and finished off the bottle of fire whisky.


	5. Crying in Her Butterbeer

A/N: Thanks to RenitaLeandra who was so nice to offer to beta this for me!

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Chapter 5- Crying in Her Butterbeer

The few weeks remaining until the start of term passed agonizingly slow for Hermione. She had told Minerva about the encounter with Snape and she had been both properly impressed that she convinced him to come and properly horrified at the way Hermione had been treated.

She had even owled Harry the day after their meeting and he had agreed to meet her in Hogsmeade. She had had such horrible nightmares that night that she had woken up drenched in sweat with tears streaming down her face. She had met him at the Hog's Head, hoping to avoid anyone who would know her at the Three Broomsticks.

"Hermione," he said pulling her into a hug. "Are you okay?" She had dark circles under her eyes which were red and swollen.

She sighed heavily as they sat down at a table in the corner. She took several drinks of her butterbeer before answering.

"Oh, Harry. I feel so foolish for making you come all the way up here. Tell Ginny I'm sorry. I just don't know what has come over me."

"Don't worry," Harry said patting her hand. "Ginny understands. She's had to go out in the middle of the night to help cheer George up more than once. Why don't you tell me what happened. Your owl said something about going to see Snape? What possessed you to do that?"

"Minerva asked me to. She hadn't had any luck finding someone to take the Potions position, so she had owled Snape. He agreed to meet her, but she already had a meeting with the Minister that morning, so she asked me to go in her place. Needless to say, things did not go well."

"From the looks of you, I would say that is an understatement," said Harry smiling gently at her. "I take it you were not successful?"

"Actually I was," she said brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes. "He was mean and cruel and said the most hateful things, but believe it or not, he agreed to come. I guess at least something good came out of it."

Harry looked at her shocked. He would have never thought it possible that Severus Snape would ever consider going back to Hogwarts. It said something about Hermione's powers of persuasion that she had managed it.

"Anyway," she continued, "I'm not sure exactly why I owled you. It just brought back so many memories of the Final Battle and those weeks you were in St. Mungo's and…" Her voice trailed off and she took another drink from the bottle.

"And Ron," Harry said looking at her.

Hermione nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "What is wrong with me? Why can't I get passed it? Look at you! Not only did you lose your best friend, but also your mentor, your Godfather and your parents. And then you had to fight and kill the most feared dark wizard of all time, nearly dying in the process. Yet you're not the one sitting here crying into your butterbeer because someone insulted you."

"First, do not think, Hermione, that I haven't had my own moments of 'crying into my butterbeer' as you put it. I just have Ginny to help me through them. But that's not the point. I don't think you're upset just because Snape insulted you, although you really should have hexed him a couple times, but because of everything he reminded you of. There is nothing wrong with being sad because you lost someone you love. Remember that according to Dumbledore, love is the strongest form of magic."

"I know," Hermione said smiling sadly. Harry scooted his chair around next to her and put his arm around her.

"Someday you will be able to put this behind you. I am sure of it," he said squeezing her shoulders.

Hermione snorted loudly. "Are you Sybil Trelawney now?"

Harry also laughed and slowly the tone of the conversation lightened. Hermione felt better having shared her grief with someone and Harry was glad to see a smile back on her face. Finally the hour grew late enough that even Harry admitted he had better be heading back to his wife and son.

"Don't let Snape get you down," he said as they said good-bye. "He is just unhappy and wants everyone else to be unhappy too. He doesn't know how to be kind anymore. Well, let's face it, he never really knew how to be kind to begin with." Then he smiled brightly.

"Let me know if he insults you again. I'll send a couple Aurors up to have a word with him." The two shared a good laugh at the thought and Hermione told Harry to hug Ginny and Ronnie for her and she headed back to the castle.

Hermione tried putting the entire incident out of her mind, but she continued to wake up every night with nightmares. Unable to go back to Madam Pomfrey, she had looked up the ingredients for the Sleeping Potion herself in an old copy of _Advanced Potion Making_ and brewed it herself in the Potions lab. She had felt nervous and guilty as she had done it, but the nights of waking up panicked had, in her opinion, left her with no other choice.

As the final week of summer came, the castle seemed to come alive. Most of the staff had returned and was preparing for the students. Hermione felt that she had successfully improved her N.E.W.T. courses and was looking forward to the beginning of term with only a small amount of dread at the return of Professor Snape.

She first heard of his return to the school from Neville who had stopped by her office his first day back. He and Luna had had a lovely time in their search for the Loch Ness Monster and he reported that he had successfully found all the plants he was looking for. He also brought news that he and Luna had finally become engaged.

"That's great news, Neville!" Hermione said, and she could tell he was near to bursting with pride. "You two make such a lovely couple."

Neville flushed at the compliment. "Thanks, Hermione."

"So where will you two live? Surely she won't want to live at Hogwarts."

"No," said Neville shaking his head. "We have found a house on the edge of Hogsmeade and I will walk in to work every day. We're planning to get married around Christmas time so we'll be moving around then."

"But, if you do that you can't be Head of House can you?" Hermione asked with surprise. Neville had been the Head of Gryffindor for the last two years. He shook his head.

"No. That's the other reason I came to talk to you. Professor McGonagall wanted me to ask you if you would consider it. It's not all that much work. Just some extra paper work and mandatory cheering at the Quidditch matches," he said with a grin.

"Well, I would be honored!" she said smiling. "I will have big shoes to fill. You know, the Gryffindors love you."

At this Neville turned completely red and stammered for a moment unsure of what to say.

"Well, the Slytherins have always loved Snape too, but that doesn't mean so much does it?" he said joking. "Speaking of which, I saw him heading toward the Headmistress's office a moment ago. He looks as much like an old bat as ever, doesn't he?"

Hermione tried to put a stern expression on her face. As professors they were supposed to rise above such things as house loyalty. But her encounter with Snape had made it difficult and she couldn't help but smirk at Neville's comments.

"I hope you won't let him intimidate you now like he did when we were students," she said earnestly. "You know you have as much right to be here as he does."

Neville nodded but didn't look too convincing. "I know, Hermione. That's what Luna said when I told her."

"Listen to her!" Hermione said encouragingly. "You have earned the respect of the entire wizarding community. What one bitter old man thinks of you should not matter."

Neville nodded, looking slightly more confident as he headed out the door leaving Hermione to sit and think. Hopefully being Head of Gryffindor would not mean any more interaction with Snape than she was already going to have. She thought back to the words she had just said to Neville and chastised herself. Here she was lecturing him while she was trying to find ways of avoiding the man herself.

Hermione managed to avoid the Potions professor the rest of the week. It appeared that he was not taking meals in the Great Hall or, if he was, not at the normal times. In fact, it was not until the Opening Feast that she even laid eyes on him.

It had been her duty to escort the first years across the lake in boats. She had been rather nervous about it but it had gone relatively smoothly. At least no one had fallen into the lake this year. It was with dismay, however, that she noticed when she reached the Head Table that the only empty seat was the one next to Snape.

"Good evening, Professor," she said coolly as she reached the table and sat at her place. There was no response from the man at her right. Professor Vector, however, looked up and smiled at Hermione.

"Good evening!" she said as the food appeared in front of them. "Did you have a nice holiday?"

"Oh yes. It was lovely," Hermione said grateful that she had been saved from embarrassment. "I spent some time with Harry and Ginny and their new baby and then I spent several weeks with my parents."

"Ah, and how is Ginny doing? I never knew Harry well as he never took Arithmancy, but Ginny was a lovely student."

"Oh, she is doing very well. The next time I owl them, I will be sure to give her

your regards," she said buttering a slice of bread. "And did you have a nice holiday as

well?"

The two continued to chat through the rest of dinner and Hermione felt more at ease than she had feared. Snape had not made a single comment and, in fact, it appeared as if he could not even hear them. However as the puddings appeared in front of them, Hermione felt obligation take over and turned to speak to him.

"I trust everything was as it should be in your rooms?" she asked him as she reached for a dessert.

"I suppose," he growled, not lifting his eyes from his plate. "Slughorn liked things a bit more… comfortable than I do. But I will manage."

Hermione felt relieved that at least he had responded politely. Perhaps he had just been caught off guard when she arrived in his home.

"If there is anything I can do…" She started to speak but was quickly cut off by his harsh voice.

"Miss Granger, the only thing you can do is to leave me alone. You know what that means don't you? It means I don't want to speak to you." He looked up at her giving her a withering look. Hermione suddenly felt as though she were back in Potions class again and had a sudden flare of anger. She was not a timid young child anymore but an equal to him.

"I am sorry, Professor. I was only trying to be polite," she shot back at him. "You know what that is, don't you? It's when you speak to someone you don't like for the sake of appearing nice."

For a moment she thought he almost looked surprised at her response. After all, she had never dared speak this way to him when she was a student. But instead, he just snarled at her.

"Well, for once we are in agreement," he said returning his attention to the plate in front of him. "I trust that by tomorrow you will find a new place to sit so we do not have to continue to be annoyed with each others presence?"

Hermione just rose from the table at this point, and followed the students toward the door ignoring the calls from Neville asking what was wrong. He finally managed to catch up to her in the Entrance Hall.

"Hermione, wait a minute," he called clearly running out of breath. She did not stop. "Professor Granger!"

This brought Hermione to a sudden stop. She looked around and suddenly realized that a large number of the students were watching. She paused and waited for Neville to catch up to her.

"Hermione are you all right?" he asked gasping for breath. "Did that old bat say something rude to you?"

"For crying out loud Neville, keep your voice down," she hissed trying to avoid the stares of the students. "And this is Snape we are talking about. Is the sky blue? Of course he said something rude to me." Together they took the staircase that led in the direction of both their quarters.

"Really, Neville, it is very sweet of you to be concerned, but I can fight my own battles."

"I'm sorry Hermione. You took off in such a hurry, though, and Snape had such a satisfied look on his face." They reached the hallway at the top of the stairs where they had to go in different directions.

"I'm fine," she said smiling at him. "And this is going to be a long year for everyone if people get worked up every time I speak to Snape. Really, we _should_ strive for more inter-house unity, okay?"

"Okay," he said before turning to walk down the hallway. "Have a good night."

Hermione turned in the opposite direction walking up several more staircases before reaching her own rooms. She readied herself for bed pausing in front of the bottle of Sleeping Potion. She knew she had been taking it far too often, but every time she went without she ended up having nightmares all night long. Ignoring the sensible part of her brain that was telling her to stop this and pour it down the drain, she quickly took a drink and settled into bed.


	6. Imaginary Conversation

Chapter 6- Imaginary Conversation

"Very good, Miss Anderson," Hermione said watching a feather float gracefully through the room. "Five points to Hufflepuff!" The young blonde headed girl in front of her turned pink from pleasure.

She heard the bell signal the end of class and the children filed out of the room. She smiled as she flicked her wand and with a mental _Accio,_ the feathers floated up to her desk settling themselves neatly in a box. _Wingardium Leviosa_ was still one of her favorite lessons to teach. Not only did the students always love it, but in a round about way she credited it for her friendship with Ron and Harry. Had she not been so bossy with Ron during their own lesson, he wouldn't have been so rude to her, which in turn meant she would not have been in the bathroom when that troll had decided to drop by.

The first several weeks of term had passed pleasantly for Hermione. She had larger than normal N.E.W.T. classes which she liked to partially take credit for. She was also falling into her duties as Head of Gryffindor fairly well. She had met with Minerva several times to discuss her new responsibilities and they had had a lengthy discussion on the best way to promote inter-house unity while still promoting house loyalty.

However, she was especially cheerful because this weekend was her birthday. She knew it was silly to still get excited about her birthday when she was well into her twenties, but regardless, she still looked forward to it with the excitement of a child. Harry and Ginny had already sent a present by owl which was sitting, still wrapped, next to her bed where it would remain until her birthday. Her parents, she knew, would time it so that her presents arrived Saturday morning. Several years before she had given them an owl as a Christmas present and it had made communication with them much easier since. Otherwise she intended to spend a quiet day in Hogsmeade treating herself to some shopping, perhaps even some new clothes at Gladrags.

She picked up an armful of rolls of parchment- sixth year essays on the advantages of nonverbal charms, and made her way up to her office on the sixth floor where she quickly dumped them on her desk. She then hurried out and made her way across the castle to the Headmistresses office. She had received a note earlier in the day saying that there would be a meeting for the Heads of Houses directly after classes that afternoon. She quickly made her way to the gargoyle, saying the password and hurrying up the moving staircase to her office. As a result, she was quite out of breath by the time she arrived.

"Professor Granger!" Minerva said looking in surprise at her disheveled appearance. "There was no need to run."

Hermione blushed as the other three professors turned to face her. Professor Sprout had a smile as usual, Professor Priscus, the Ancient Runes professor who had taken Flitwick's place as Head of Ravenclaw appeared to be deep in thought and Professor Snape just looked annoyed. '_Well, no surprise there_,' she thought.

"Please, take a seat," Professor McGonagall motioned to four chairs she had positioned around her desk. As Hermione took a seat she noticed Dumbledore's portrait behind the desk. Although she had been in this office many times since his death, it never failed to unnerve her to see it there. She noticed this time, however, the portrait appeared to be taking notice of Snape. She turned to look at him, wondering what he must have thought the first time he had come up here when he returned to teach. He appeared rather tense, but otherwise did not seem affected. Minerva also took her seat at the desk and looked at them with a serious expression on her face.

"Thank you all for joining me on such short notice. Eventually I will be discussing this with all the professors, but I wanted the four of you to be aware of the situation first."

Hermione began to feel alarmed. What was all this about?

"As some of you may know, I have been in close contact with Minister Shaklebolt all summer regarding our growing enrollment problem. Now, the Minister has always been a great supporter of Hogwarts, however lately he has become very concerned. The general consensus among most witches and wizards is that Hogwarts is behind the times. Parents are sending their children to other schools, whether it's Durmstrang or Beauxbaton or a smaller school such as El Caldero in Spain. People feel that their children can receive a better education out of the country. We are also having trouble filling our teaching positions. As you all well know, we wouldn't have been able to open our doors at all this year if it hadn't been for Professor Snape who was so kind as to agree to come back for one year." She nodded to Severus who, to everyone in the room, appeared to merely be bored.

"Anyway, I just spoke to Minister Shaklebolt this morning, and he informed me that the board of governors has reached a decision regarding our future." She took a deep breath before she continued. "They are putting us on a probation of sorts. As long as there are no serious incidents, we have professors to teach all the classes and the enrollment does not continue to decline, we can remain open. However if there is any more negative publicity, they will close our doors."

Hermione and Professors Sprout and Priscus all looked at each other, the worry evident in each others eyes. This was even more serious than they expected. The**y** looked back at their Headmistress and waited for her to continue.

"I don't think I need to tell you than I'm not just referring to such incidents as the Chamber of Secrets being opened or Death Eaters in the castle." There was an uncomfortable pause as she realized what she had just inadvertently made reference to. "It could be something as small as a student getting lost in the Forbidden Forest, or someone returning late from Hogsmeade. As the Heads of House, the four of you have more responsibility than all the other teachers. I am going to make you directly responsible for the actions of your students. I am expecting you to keep them under strict control and any rule breaking should be dealt with using the harshest of punishments."

She paused again for a moment looking very old and tired. "I know this is going to be hard on you, but I also know that we have the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in Europe, even if most of the country doesn't seem to."

With that she dismissed them; the four professors left her office in silence and they walked down the staircase. As they reached the bottom, Hermione once again felt the need to say something to Severus. She had felt uncomfortable the entire time during the meeting and all she had been able to think about was how it must feel for him. To be in the room that had always been Dumbledore's. Now the great Headmaster was nothing more than a portrait on the wall.

"Professor Snape?" she said turning around on the last stair and blocking him from the hallway. "May I speak to you a moment?"

"Does it matter? I daresay you will speak whether I want you to or not," he grumbled at her.

"I just wanted to thank you. I know you do not want to be here, but it was very kind of you to take this position."

Severus just looked at her and rolled his eyes. "Miss Granger, I don't know what is going through your head to make you think I'm being nice. I thought I made it clear that I was only here for the money."

"Well, yes," she swallowed hard. "I just… well, I just…"

"Spit it out Miss Granger."

"Well, I can just imagine that was all very uncomfortable for you in there. I mean, it must be strange for you…" she broke off unsure what to say.

"For me to be in the office of the man I murdered with his portrait staring at me?"

Hermione paled at his harsh words. "Well…yes."

Severus suddenly advanced toward her causing Hermione to back up suddenly. She had forgotten she was still standing on the bottom step and stumbled backward. He grabbed hold of her wrist, twisting it as he did and held it tightly causing her to flinch as pain shot up her arm.

"Whatever makes you think, Miss Granger, that the murder of Albus Dumbledore is even close to the worst thing I have ever done? The Avada Kedavra is a dream compared to some curses I know. I have seen things that would make you thank your lucky stars Dumbledore, and Weasley for that matter, went out the way they did. At least they kept all their organs in the right place. At least you did not end up covered in your boyfriend's blood when you held his dead body. Do not _ever_ feel sorry for me. You can pretend I was a Death Eater in name only, but trust me _I wasn't_." The look on his face was murderous.

Hermione felt herself begin to gag and felt bile rise up in her throat. "Please," she whispered pulling her arm back. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry." No other words would come and she managed to pull away. As soon as she backed off the step she made her way up to her rooms as quickly as she could, trying to force the tears back from her eyes and calm her churning stomach.

* * *

Severus Snape waited several minutes before moving from the bottom step, praying no one would come across him. When he finally felt that he could trust both his actions and his words he walked, as quickly as he could without drawing attention, to the dungeons.

Reaching his quarters, he sank down into a chair and ran his shaking fingers through his hair. Why couldn't she have just kept her mouth shut? Of all the things he hated, pity was the worst. He would have rather she yelled at him, called him names. If only the word murderer would have come out of her mouth instead of his, he could have dealt with it all so much better.

She had been right, though. He hated being in that room; seeing the portrait of Dumbledore staring at him instead of the flesh and blood man; and then to have Minerva speak of it. He had felt the other teachers' stares on him. He, who had allowed the Death Eaters into the castle, had brought those monsters inside these sacred walls. Granted, it had been Draco Malfoy who had actually done the deed, but he had not stopped it. It was strange, when he thought of it. McGonagall and Granger were the only two in that room who had actually fought the Death Eaters and risked their lives for the safety of the students, yet they seemed to be the only two who did not look at him with reproach.

'_You let_ _her believe you had killed before. You were trying to scare her_.' He felt the words rise up in him and, typically, they sounded like Albus Dumbledore. Guilt was a feeling he hated almost as much as pity.

"Bloody busybody should have kept her mouth shut," he mumbled to nobody.

'_She was trying to be nice. You should apologize_.'

"She should learn not to stick her nose where it doesn't belong," he said again to himself, unsure of whom he was trying to convince. "Besides, I haven't apologized to anyone in thirty years. And that one didn't get me anywhere."

'_You should not have mentioned the Weasley boy. That was cruel. You saw her that day. You know what his death did to her.'_

"It's been almost ten years. She should deal with it."

'_Yes, ten years. And how are YOU dealing with it?'_

"SHUT UP!" Severus yelled and then realized that he was yelling only at himself. "Bloody hell, I've lost my mind."

Severus spent the rest of the evening in his rooms, not daring to come out for dinner. He felt something close to shame regarding his behavior, although he still maintained she should have kept her nose out of it and stopped trying to be nice. He was surprised she hadn't already going to Professor McGonagall about it. He decided that he would keep to himself for the weekend until he felt that he had better control over his actions.

As it turned out, it would not have mattered had he gone to the Great Hall that evening for dinner as Hermione also did not go. She had completely lost her appetite and had no desire to make small talk with the other professors. She was never good at hiding her emotions and she knew the minute she made it to the Head Table she would have both Minerva and Neville hounding her to find out what was wrong.

'_I should report him',_ she thought savagely to herself. But then she remembered Minerva's words of warning that afternoon. Any more scandal and Hogwarts would be closed. She wasn't sure if an argument with the Potions Professor really qualified as scandal, but she was pretty sure assault (and her wrist was starting to bruise) and graphic descriptions of Death Eater activities might. All in all she decided it wasn't worth the risk. Instead she once again took another dose of the Sleeping Potion, reasoning that really, she deserved it after all that, and fell into bed at a rather early hour.

In the Great Hall, the remaining professors were surprised at the absence of both Professors Snape and Granger. When questioned by Professor McGonagall, Sprout and Priscus couldn't remember seeing either one of them after leaving her office, although they should have all headed into the main part of the castle together. Neither could remember when they had become separated and no one could figure out why.


	7. At the Book Shop

A/N: Thanks to everyone for their reviews! Also thanks again to RenitaLeandra for being such a fast beta!

* * *

Chapter 7- At the Book Shop

Hermione woke late the next morning, still feeling groggy and rather like she had been run over by a bus. Normally she would rise early, and especially so on her birthday, but she hadn't quite been able to manage it this morning. It took her several minutes before she even realized that it was in fact her birthday. It was only when she saw her parent's owl, Aristotle, with a sizable package tied to its leg, did she really begin to feel excited.

She greeted him as she took the package and fed him a few owl treats that she kept in her desk. She knew he would wait until she could get around to writing her parents a thank-you. Their package was the first she opened. The bulk of it was cookies and candy that her mother had made. Her mother loved to bake and Hermione had made several comments that summer that house-elf cooking was nothing compared to hers. There was also a smaller wrapped present which she discovered with delight was a collection of Shakespeare's sonnets. She loved it that her parents always gave her Muggle gifts. As much as she loved being a witch, she didn't want to forget the years she had spent as a Muggle.

The next package she opened was from Harry and Ginny. The first thing she saw was a framed picture that had been taken when she visited them. She was holding Ronnie, who was squirming. Ginny was on her right tickling Ronnie's toes and trying to make silly faces at him. Harry was on her left with his arm around her and smiling into the camera. She then opened a rather large present which she was delighted to see was a copy of the revised edition of _Hogwarts, A History: Beyond Dumbledore and Death Eaters._ Inside was an inscription in Harry's scratchy handwriting:

_Hermione,_

_Hopefully this will provide you with many hours of entertainment. The next time I see you I hope you will have many new facts to torture me with._

_Love,  
Harry_

She smiled as she read it and then moved on to the smallest, and lightest of the presents they had sent. Inside was a beautiful woven scarf that she had admired in Diagon Alley. It was charmed to match whatever it was worn with. It also had a note attached, this time in the soft, loopy handwriting of Ginny.

_Hermione,_

_I wanted you to have at least one present that did not require the use of your mind. _

_Love, _

_Ginny_

Hermione felt touched that her two closest friends thought so much of her. She was also surprised to see there were two other presents sitting at the foot of her bed, clearly brought in by house-elves in the night. The first was a box of chocolate frogs from Neville with a note to "think of Trevor" while she was enjoying them and the final one was from Minerva. It was also a book, but this one was entitled _The Evolution of Charms, A Study_ _by Filius Flitwick_. She also read the note attached to this.

_I thought you might enjoy a book written by your predecessor. I was lucky enough to get an advanced copy as I have "connections" with the author. _

_Minerva_

Hermione ate one of the chocolate frogs and was beginning to feel better about the day. She realized that it was too late for breakfast in the Great Hall, so she settled for just eating a second frog while she wrote a note to her parents thanking them for her gifts. She then dressed in a set of old, but comfortable, navy blue robes and once again tried to tame the mess that was her hair. After giving herself a few hopeless glances in the mirror she decided to head on her way to Hogsmeade.

It was a beautiful autumn day as she made her way off of Hogwarts grounds and into the town. It was cool and clear and the leaves on the trees were turning brilliant colors. Hermione found herself humming as she walked along the road. As it wasn't a weekend for the students, Hogsmeade was quiet when she reached it.

She first went into Gladrags with the idea she would buy herself some new robes, but she felt so underdressed in the old clothes she had thrown on, that she couldn't bring herself to stay. She then headed into Honeydukes, as she had always had a sweet tooth and couldn't pass up an opportunity at candy. When she had spent more sickles than necessary there, she headed over to Scrivenshifts as she was constantly loosing her quills during class. She suspected that students were forgetting to return them when they were borrowed, but rather than worry about it she bought a pack of Econo-Quills to keep on hand at her desk.

She had a quick lunch in the Three Broomsticks, with Rosmerta keeping her company telling stories and jokes that she had heard from patrons. Rosmerta was as cheerful and friendly as always, but her red hair was beginning to gray and Hermione knew she had never completely forgiven herself for the role she played in Dumbledore's death. As she headed back out into the sunshine, she realized that she was having a very lovely birthday. Her last stop was at the bookshop, The Ink and Quill, which was a new edition to Hogsmeade, having just been opened during Hermione's first year teaching.

It was a nice bookshop and had the look and smell of one that had been there much longer than just two years. She was well known by the owner, Yvonne Prewitt, who was a distant cousin to Molly Weasley and she had spent several hours there, browsing the shelves, more than once.

As she entered the store, Yvonne looked up from a nearby table where she had been organizing a stack of books.

"Hermione!" she said cheerfully, coming over to greet her customer. "I haven't seen you yet this term. How was your summer?"

"Oh, it was very nice. I spent time visiting friends and family. I had dinner with Molly one night," she said as she began to browse.

"Did you? I really must get over to the Burrow one of these days. But you know how it gets. It's as if time just slips away from me. And I've been so busy with the store." Although they were only distantly related, the resemblance between Yvonne and Molly was striking. Both were short with flaming red hair and the need to mother everyone they came across. It was as Hermione was thinking this that she realized Yvonne was giving her an appraising look.

"Hmm… You're looking quite thin dear. And have you been getting enough sleep? You look like you could fall over at any moment."

Hermione just smiled but said nothing. The older woman continued to talk while Hermione looked around.

"We just got a new supply of books yesterday and the book by Filius Flitwick should be arriving next week. I'm sure you'll want to read it. Would you like me to hold you a copy?"

"Actually, Minerva has already given me one," Hermione said as she glanced through _An A to Z Traveler's Guide of Magical Vacations_. "I think she got it directly from Professor Flitwick himself. She gave it to me this morning for my birthday."

"Oh!" said an excited voice from Yvonne's direction. "Today is your birthday? I had no idea. Well, you pick out something you want as a birthday gift from me. No charge!"

"Yvonne, I can't do that! I didn't come here for free books."

"I know, dear, but you look like you could use a pick-me-up. Maybe something a little lighter this time? You know, we have an extensive romance section."

Hermione nearly laughed out loud at this. "That's okay. I think I'll just take a look around the Transfiguration section. My Transfiguration has become a little rusty these days from lack of use. I could use some brushing up."

Yvonne just rolled her eyes and waved Hermione on to the back of the room. As she headed to the far corner, she heard the sound of the door opening again and Yvonne once again launching herself at her customer.

She paid little attention to her surroundings as she debated between _101 Everyday Uses for Transfiguration _and _Common Transfiguration Mistakes and How to Fix Them_. She vaguely heard Yvonne saying, "Potions books? Oh yes, we have a good selection. They're in the back." As she finally made her decision, she heard footsteps closing in behind her and when she turned around she saw the one thing that could ruin her birthday. Severus Snape.

Her first thought was to run away, but he was quickly closing in on her and that would not be possible. She next thought that maybe if she turned back around he wouldn't figure out who she was. But she could tell from the startled look on his face that he had seen her as well. So, she was left with her last resort, which was to try and act like a mature adult; even if her stomach was once again trying to rid itself of its contents.

"Professor Snape," she said as coolly as she could manage although she could feel her face burning from anger.

"Professor Granger," he said in a similar tone of voice. He paused momentarily in front of her and then turned to head toward the opposite corner where she could see a line of Potions books being displayed.

She breathed a quick sigh of relief and began to head toward the front of the store with her book. She had only taken a couple of steps, however, when she heard his voice from behind.

"Professor Granger, could I have a word with you?"

"Oh hell," she muttered to herself before bracing herself and turning back around. "Yes, Professor Snape."

"I…" he paused for a moment and she was shocked to notice that he actually looked uncomfortable. "I wanted to… apologize for my behavior yesterday. It was uncalled for."

She nodded stiffly unsure of how to respond.

"Thank you," she said unwilling to say any more. If she had learned anything from her recent interaction with Snape, it was that he didn't much care for conversation. He gave a short nod and turned around without another word.

She walked up to the front counter where Yvonne was counting a small pile of Galleons and Sickles. A quill absently stuck behind her ear and her glasses sliding down her nose.

"Did you find something dear?" she asked looking up from the parchment she was recording on. "Oh, that's a good one. It will really help you with that Transfiguration." Then she looked past Hermione.

"Did you find the book you were looking for sir? That will be 14 sickles, 3 knuts."

Hermione felt like cursing under her breath. Couldn't he have just stayed in the back for a couple more minutes?

"Oh, Hermione, I wanted to show you these." Yvonne said pulling out a box of small round looking stickers with one hand while taking Severus' money in the other. "They're enchanted bookmarks. Stick it on the book and when you go back to it, it will automatically open to the last page you were on. Here, take one to try it out. No charge, consider it a second birthday present."

Hermione reached over to take one of the bookmarks and as she did the sleeve of her robe fell back revealing her bruised wrist.

"Oh dear!" Yvonne said in a shocked voice. "What happened to your wrist?"

"Oh, you know me," Hermione said feeling herself start to blush. "I slipped yesterday and fell into my desk. Hurt like the devil at the time, but its okay now."

"Really, you must be more careful, dear. We can't have our favorite professor getting herself hurt!"

Hermione just nodded and thanked her hoping to get out of the store as quickly as possible. She could feel Severus staring at her from behind and she did not want another confrontation. Before she could take another step, however, she heard his voice from behind.

"I was not aware it was your birthday, Miss Granger."

"Well, it's not something I commonly advertise, Professor Snape," she said trying to sound cheerful looking up at him and trying to smile. As soon as the words were out, though, she wished she had not said his name. She heard Yvonne gasp and saw her staring, open-mouthed at the other professor.

"Snape?" she said, her voice raising an octave. "You mean _that_ Professor Snape?" Hermione groaned under her breath knowing what was coming.

"Yes!" came his sharp reply, "I am, to the best of my knowledge, the only Professor Snape to have taught at Hogwarts, so the logical conclusion to be made is that I am _that_ Professor Snape."

Yvonne's face became hard as he spoke. "I have no interest in keeping murderers for customers, sir. Had I known, I would not have sold that book to you."

"Well, let me save you some trouble," Severus said, his eyes becoming dangerously dark and he walked up to the counter and threw a copy of _Common Potions Ingredients_ down on the counter causing the pile of money to scatter. "Keep the money. It's the last you will ever see from me."

He gave Hermione a stormy look as he swept passed her, his robes brushing against her as he stormed out the door. Hermione gave Yvonne both an apologetic and annoyed look, unsure how she felt herself, and then followed him out into the street. He was already half a block down the street by the time she got out the door and she decided that under the circumstances it was best to just let him go.

As she walked back to Hogwarts, no longer humming to herself, she thought about the events in the bookstore. She could not help but feel a prickle of sympathy for the man, despite how little he deserved it. Most wizards and witches only knew rumors and half-truths regarding the events surrounding Severus. The _Daily Prophet_ had, of course, reported on the War Trials, but as usual the stories were tainted by the opinions of the editors. It was not understood that not only did he have to kill Dumbledore because of the Unbreakable Vow he had made with Narcissa Malfoy, but that he had also been under an Unbreakable Vow with Dumbledore that had required him to protect both Draco and his status as a spy with Voldemort at all costs. It was also not widely reported how he had finally come to the aid of the Order and Harry helping to destroy two Horcruxes and single-handedly destroying a third. All most people understood was that he had killed Albus Dumbledore and somehow hoodwinked the Wizengamot into believing that he was innocent. Hermione could not begin to imagine how difficult it must be to live a life under the presumption of guilt.

She also though**t** back to his apology. She couldn't deny that it had shocked her. To the best of her knowledge, Snape had never apologized to anyone in his life and surely he had done much worse things that grab a woman's wrist and try to scare her. She wondered what could have pushed him to apologize.

As she reached the Entrance Hall, she suddenly had a thought come to her. She ran up to her rooms and found a well worn book on her bookshelf. She grabbed it and then ran down to the dungeons, ignoring the questioning looks from the students. It was with no small amount of nervousness that she found herself knocking on Severus' door.

The door flew open and she stepped back in surprise.

"What do you want, Granger?" Severus said glaring at her.

"I wanted to bring you this," she handed the book out to him. On the well worn cover read the words _Common Potions Ingredients_. He looked at her with a questioning look in his eye.

"It's my own copy. I haven't used it in years so you're free to keep it."

Severus took the book from her and stepped aside, motioning with his head for her to come in. Tentatively Hermione stepped into the room and he shut the door. She looked around the room, unable to hide her curiosity about what kind of living quarters Snape would have. Clearly he had changed how Slughorn had previously decorated it. Certainly nothing in the room was comfortable. The chairs, desk, even pillows had the look of being hard and unforgiving. Hermione felt slightly bolder having been invited in.

"I must say, I was a little surprised you were buying it. It is such a basic text, I was sure you would already have it."

"I do," Severus said sitting down at his desk and began grading papers. "Or, at least I did. Apparently it got misplaced when I came back."

"Oh." Hermione suddenly felt herself at a loss for words; an unusual occurrence to say the least. She continued standing, beginning to feel uncomfortable. After a moment of continued scribbling, followed with him writing a large red "D" at the top of a paper, Severus stood up and walked over to a shelf and pulled down a small clay pot. Inside was a bright green paste. He walked over and handed it to her.

"It is a Bruise Healing Potion for your wrist."

Hermione could not help but gape at him. "Th… thank you," she managed to stammer out. Severus clearly did not know how to respond, so instead he sneered.

"Get a hold of yourself. You're beginning to sound like Longbottom. You can go now."

Hermione began walking toward the door. She was about to open it when she paused and turned back around and looked at him. He had gone back to his desk and was beginning on a new paper.

"She was out of line, you know," she said quietly. Although Severus did not look at her, his quill had stopped moving. "Not everyone sees you like that."

She turned back around and walked out of the room. The quill remained still for another moment and then it resumed its scribbling.


	8. Hermione Jane's Addiction

Chapter 8-Hermione Jane's Addiction

The days passed with relative calm for both the Charms and Potions Professors as they grew shorter and colder and the students had settled well into a routine. For Severus, there was almost a comfort about being back in his old position. Although he had never enjoyed teaching, Hogwarts was the only place where he ever felt safe. As each day passed, he felt the tension and stress of the past ten years fall away.

He and Hermione had also reached a truce, of sorts. She appeared to have truly forgiven him and still continued to try to be friendly whenever they would pass each other. He still found her cheerfulness annoying, and told her so at every possible opportunity, but tried to refrain from the cruelty of their earlier encounters. He reasoned that if he was going to have to work with her, it would not do to be seen screaming at each other in the halls.

For Hermione, although she was enjoying the days and delighted in teaching, as each day passed she began to feel more and more uneasy. January 9 would be the ten year anniversary of the Final Battle. Already she had received invitations by official Ministry owl to various events commemorating it. She had talked to Harry who had little choice but to attend almost all the events. Although she dreaded it, she finally decided to attend the official ceremony at Phoenix Park, which had once been Riddle Manor, but turned down the ceremony at the Ministry and any "celebrations" that were being held. She did not feel it right to celebrate the death of so many.

She also found that even with the Sleeping Potion, she was still having nightmares, although they were still less intense with the potion. As November came to a close, she realized that the potion she had made shortly before the start of term was quickly running out. She could no longer brew it herself in Professor Snape's lab and she became panicked at the idea of going without. Since the school year had started, she had taken the potion almost every night. In the back of her mind, she knew what she was doing could not be healthy. She was sleeping less and less at night and her mind was so preoccupied with the nightmares, that she was losing her appetite as well. The other teachers had noticed, but in the last week of November, Professor McGonagall finally called her up to her office.

"Come," Hermione heard the sharp voice of the Headmistress call to her as she knocked on her office door. Hermione opened the door to see Minerva look up from a stack of papers she was reading.

"You wanted to see me Professor?" Hermione asked. Minerva beckoned her to come further in and she leaned back in her chair.

"Yes, thanks for coming Hermione." She paused while Hermione took a seat and waited. "I was wondering if everything was alright?"

Hermione looked at her confused. "I don't understand. My classes are all going well. I haven't had any major discipline problems with any of the Gryffindor's. Is there a problem?"

"Oh, no, no. Your teaching has always been exemplary. You just haven't been acting yourself lately. I've noticed you during meals and in the staffroom and you have seemed rather out of sorts. I can tell you haven't been eating and you don't appear to be sleeping well either, from the looks of it. Is anything bothering you?"

"Not that I can think of, Professor," Hermione said shaking her head. Minerva sighed making it plain that she didn't quite believe her.

"I know the ten year anniversary is coming up in a little over a month. Are you sure it doesn't have anything to do with that? I know I have been a little preoccupied with my thoughts as the date nears. You lost as much as anyone that day, and more than many."

Hermione felt a lump forming in her throat and she tried to swallow it down. She did not want to sit here and discuss the death of Ron like she was discussing a tea party.

"Really, Professor, I'm fine. I've just overworked myself a little. You know I never know when to quit. I'll try to get a little more rest."

"Ok, but if you feel that you need to talk to someone, you know I will always listen. I might understand better than you think. Have a good evening, Professor Granger." And she turned back to her work as Hermione let herself out of the office.

That night was the second night in a row that Hermione did not have any potion to take. She slept restlessly. In her dreams it was always the Last Battle. She was covered in sweat and the stench of blood was rising up from the ground. She was standing next to Ron and Harry was on the other side of him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Mad Eye fall to the ground, Antonin Dolohov standing over him. She then saw Ginny fighting Bellatrix, and appeared to be on the losing end of it. She looked over and knew that Ron had seen the same thing. They both started running.

The next moment always seemed to play out in slow motion during Hermione's dreams. One minute she was upright running with her wand drawn. And then… she had tripped. Tripped over a stupid tree root. Ron's arm reached out to grab her and in that split second of inattention, Bellatrix had fired the curse and Ron was on the ground in front of her. It did not matter that in the next second, Bellatrix herself was dead; killed by Neville who had also come to the aid of Ginny. It did not matter that mere minutes later Voldemort had been killed and the war was over. Nothing matter except that she had tripped. Her stupid error had cost Ron his life.

She kept hoping, praying that it wasn't real. That at any moment he would lift his head, smiling and tell her he was just joking. She prayed that those blank eyes would blink, just once and focus. She prayed that his hand would reach up to her and hold her. But it never happened. And all she could do was hold on to his dead body, her breath coming in frantic gasps, and wonder why she couldn't cry.

Hermione woke suddenly, a scream dying in her throat. Her pillow and face were damp from tears she had cried in her sleep. For all the tears she could not shed at the time, she had cried plenty since. She looked out her window and could see the first faint streaks of light appearing across the sky. She took a drink of water from a cup sitting next to her bed as she tried to form a plan. She had decided that she could not tolerate this every night for the rest of her life and the Sleeping Potion was the only thing that helped.

She quickly dressed and packed a small bag full of the necessary ingredients and went out of her rooms. It was still very early on a Sunday morning, so she knew virtually everyone would still be asleep. She quickly made her way down to the dungeons and almost hesitated before knocking on Snape's door. For a moment she didn't think he was going to answer and then the door swung open. Snape was standing in front of her looking very disgruntled but fully dressed.

'_Doesn't the man sleep?'_ Hermione thought to herself.

"Good morning, Professor," she said as cheerfully as she dared.

"Professor Granger, what in the name of Merlin, are you doing here at six o'clock in the morning? Can your brain not even stop long enough to sleep?"

"I realize this is an inconvenience, but I was wondering if I could borrow the use of your Potions lab? I was hoping to make a Swelling Solution to show my students the difference of the effects between that and an Engorgement Charm."

"Just leave the ingredients, Professor, and I will brew it for you at a decent hour. Now will you please leave me alone?" He made a move to shut the door but Hermione managed to stop him.

"Really, Professor Snape, that isn't necessary. You know I won't harm anything in the lab. If you will just give me permission, I could have it brewed in under an hour and be out of your hair."

"Whatever you say," Severus said glaring at her. "But if I find one thing out of place it will be your neck." And with that he slammed the door.

Hermione heaved a sigh of relief as she walked across to the Potions lab. The Sleeping Potion did not take long to brew, no longer than the Swelling Solution, and with a little luck she would be done and no one would know why she was there.

* * *

The brewing was coming along well and Hermione was feeling very pleased with herself. '_Just a few more minutes of stewing and it should be done'_, she thought glancing at the clock.

She had just poured some of the potion into a large vial when she heard the door open.

"Well, since I was so unceremoniously woken up, I thought I would see if you needed anything," she heard Severus say from the door.

"Oh, no. I'm just fine. Really, I don't need any help." Hermione tried to position herself between Severus and the cauldron. She knew without trying, however, that it would be no use. Snape was one of the greatest Potions Masters this century. She heard him take several more steps into the room until she could feel him standing directly behind her.

"That, Miss Granger, is not a Swelling Solution."

Hermione swallowed and felt her heart beating so hard that it hurt. She did not know how to respond, a lie would never work. He was highly accomplished at Legilimency and would see through it in an instant if he wanted to.

"What are you doing brewing a Sleeping Potion?" he said, his voice deadly calm and quiet. Hermione swallowed hard and decided to go with the truth; a version of it anyway.

"I have been having a hard time sleeping lately. I was hoping that this would help me."

"And why did you not go to Madam Pomfrey? I'm sure she would have been willing to help." She could hear his voice getting angrier as he spoke.

"She would not give it to me," she said in a whisper.

"And why, Miss Granger is that?"

Hermione said nothing. She was unable to bring the words to her mouth.

"Answer me Miss Granger."

"She believes that I have been taking it too frequently," she said with as much bravado as she could muster.

"That is very interesting, Miss Granger," Severus said now walking around to the other side of the cauldron so she was forced to look at him. She kept her eyes on the remainder of the bubbling potion. "I would assume that Madam Pomfrey would have told you the risks involved in taking a Sleeping Potion. Surely she would have mentioned that it can be addictive when taken for too long a time."

"Yes, it was mentioned," Hermione said, still not raising her eyes.

"And tell me, Miss Granger, how long have you been taking it?"

Hermione visibly shuddered at his question. Even admitting it to herself was nearly impossible. How was she ever supposed to admit it to her worst enemy?

"Tell me," his voice was no longer as quiet, but still just as dangerous. She said nothing.

"TELL ME!" he yelled at her, his features contorted with anger.

"Since the Final Battle." Her voice was so quiet that most people would have strained to have heard. However, she could tell that Snape had heard just fine. His eyes widened with shock at her words and he walked over so he was towering over her.

"DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TAKING THIS FOR TEN YEARS?" he yelled making her cringe. "BLOODY HELL WOMAN, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF?"

Hermione began to shake. Even during the incident on the stairs he had not been this angry. She glanced up for a moment and he was now pacing back and forth taking deep breaths as if to calm him self down. When he spoke again, he was no longer yelling, but was still just as angry.

"I used to think you a bright witch. There was nothing too hard for you in school. Apparently, I was greatly mistaken. What would possess you to do such a fool-brained thing as this?"

"I… I didn't used to take it so often," Hermione said feeling the need to justify herself. "Madam Pomfrey warned me and I only used it sparingly. Only when it was… too much. But lately, I have been having so many nightmares. I can hardly close my eyes without seeing him."

She cringed. She had not meant to say that and she prayed he had not heard it. She looked over at Snape who did not seem to have a reaction to this.

"Did it ever occur to you, Little Miss Know-it-all, to actually do some research about Sleeping Potions and how they are addictive? If you had, you would have understood that after a point, the potion actually causes an increase in bad dreams. _The potion is causing the nightmares, not helping them._"

Hermione paled at these words. "I didn't realize…"

"That much is painfully clear, Miss Granger. I should report you to Professor McGonagall. She probably wouldn't like an addict teaching the students any more than a drunk."

"Please don't do that," Hermione whispered. "Teaching is the only thing I have left. I would have nothing if I wasn't here." She felt her eyes well with tears but she forced them back, unwilling to let him see her cry.

"When did you last take the potion?" He suddenly asked her. She looked up at him in confusion.

"Two days ago. Why?"

"I suggest that you go back to your rooms and rest as much as you can. Since you are apparently woefully ignorant about the effects of Sleeping Potions, I shall fill you in. Not only does the potion create the side effect of increased nightmares, you will also begin to feel the physical effects of the addiction. Within the next twelve hours, you will probably start to feel ill, as if you caught the muggle flu. You will begin to feel nauseous and you will run a fever. These effects will increase in intensity for the following twenty-four hours until it begins to subside.

"I would suggest that this morning you take the time to inform Professor McGonagall that you are not feeling well and will need a replacement for your classes for the next couple days. You are going to regret ever even tasting Sleeping Potion, Miss Granger."

Hermione began walking toward the door, afraid to say a word.

"And Miss Granger," he called to her. She turned around and looked up at him. "If I ever hear word that you are using this potion again, I swear I'll kill you myself."

She quickly turned and ran out of the room. Severus stood still for a moment listening to thequickly fading sound of her steps running away before picking up the vial and smashing it against the wall.


	9. The Longest Night

Chapter 9- The Longest Night

Hermione ran through the dungeons up to the ground floor. She finally stopped in an alcove close to the Great Hall. She closed her eyes breathing heavily trying to calm her heart and mind.

_What was I thinking? How could I have been so stupid_? She thought to herself. Of course Professor Snape would catch on. She might have been able to pull off a story with Slughorn, but never Snape. As she stood there catching her breath, she heard Professor McGonagall's voice coming down the staircase.

"Of course we wouldn't mind you having the wedding here, Neville. After everything you and Luna have done for all of us, I can't believe you would even have to ask."

Hermione tried to comb through her hair with her fingers and slipped out of the alcove closing in behind Minerva and Neville who were clearly deep in conversation.

"Good morning, Minerva, Neville," she said trying to keep her voice calm. Both professors turned around in surprise.

"Hermione!" Minerva said. "I didn't see you behind us. Are you all right? You look a little flushed."

Inwardly Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. Minerva had just unknowingly given her the opening she needed.

"Actually I have not been feeling well. I'm afraid I must have picked something up from one of the students. You may want to have a replacement ready for the next couple days in case I end up sick."

"Well, it's that time of year. I was just talking to Madam Pomfrey and she said that she's had students in and out of the hospital ward all weekend with one illness or another. Are you going to eat breakfast at least?"

The last thing Hermione felt like doing was eating, but she reasoned that this would probably be the last thing she could stomach for a while. She also didn't want to raise any more questions. So she nodded and followed the other two into the Great Hall. Neville was busy talking about the wedding plans with Luna. They had decided to get married at Hogwarts on Christmas Eve. Although it was clear they both wanted a small, private ceremony, their connections with the wizarding elite were going to make this impossible.

"I hope you will be able to come, Hermione," Neville said as they sat and he helped himself to a platter of bacon. Hermione could do little more than nibble on some toast.

"Hmm?" Hermione said feeling distracted. "Oh, of course I will, Neville. You know I wouldn't miss it."

As she forced down a sip of juice she looked up and saw Professor Snape also enter and take a seat at the table two spots down from her.

"Good morning Severus," she heard Professor Priscus say.

"I would hardly say the morning is good, but hello," Severus said looking in the direction of Hermione who was refusing to look away from her toast. Professor Priscus said nothing more and if he thought this response was odd, he made no sign of it.

"Hermione, you really aren't looking well," Neville said looking over at her. "You're all pale and clammy. Perhaps you should go up and see Madam Pomfrey. Surely she would have something to help you."

"NO!" Hermione nearly shouted. Neville jumped and looked at her alarmed. Severus looked at her with mild curiosity as if he wondered how she would find her way out of this. "Really, I've just been tired lately and with so many students sick, it's not surprising I've caught something. Honestly, I don't even know what I'm doing here. You all will end up sick because of me. I think I'll just head back to my rooms."

"But you haven't hardly ate," she could hear Neville's voice protesting as she made her way out of the doors.

Hermione first went into her office hoping to organize her papers and write notes to whoever would be filling in for her. There were a stack of sixth year essays that she had hoped to grade, however she quickly realized that she wasn't able to concentrate. She felt slightly sick to her stomach and she wondered if it had anything to do with the Sleeping Potion. She felt relieved that she would no longer have access to it, though. She had known for some time that what she was irresponsible at best and dangerous at worst.

'_Perhaps once a few days pass and I get through the worst of it the nightmares will get better,' _she thought to herself.

She spent the better part of an hour doing her best to organize her office and then went down to her classroom to make sure everything was in order there as well. When she felt satisfactorily organized she returned to her room. Her eyes felt scratchy and heavy from the lack of sleep the night before, so she grabbed a book and a cup of tea and curled up on her bed to read. She did not get three pages into the book, however, before it slipped from her hand as she fell asleep, the tea growing cold on the table.

* * *

While Hermione was sleeping fitfully with nightmares in her room, Severus was in his own room thinking about the morning**'**s events. Of all people, he would have never imagined Hermione Granger becoming addicted to a Sleeping Potion. She always appeared to be completely in control and sure of herself. 

'_Of course, so do you,'_ he thought to himself. It was true that he tended to use his cruel wit and sharp tongue as a way of hiding any true emotions, but Granger was just the opposite. She was never cruel, unless provoked and was kind to almost everyone. He liked to think that she would surely not have anything in her perfect life so wrong as to warrant this kind of drastic measure. But then he thought back to her words that morning.

"_I have been having so many nightmares. I can hardly close my eyes without seeing him."_

He had pretended not to hear her. He was sure she hadn't meant to reveal quite so much. He remembered seeing her that day, draped over his dead body. It had been ages before anyone had noticed as most of the attention was on Harry, who was lying unconscious. It was Arthur who had first spotted them. He had gone over thinking that perhaps Ron was just injured. Severus could remember hearing his screams.

He could remember people- Tonks, Minerva, Neville trying to pull her off of him. But she seemed completely unaware of their attempts. No matter how hard they tried she held on. Finally her strength gave out and Arthur was finally able to pry her away. But of everything he remembered, the one thing he remembered most was that he never saw her shed a tear. She appeared dazed, lost and almost unaware of her surroundings.

He thought back to all the years he had seen Granger and Weasley together. It was clear to everyone that they had been in love for years but they never seemed aware of it themselves. When the Order had finally tracked him down three months after Albus' death, it appeared that the two were now completely inseparable. Every time he was called upon to help, whether at Grimmauld Place or the Shrieking Shack, where they had set up another temporary base, the two were always holding hands, smiling at each other and in general being rather disgusting. He even remembered stopping by the Burrow with some important information that last Christmas and hearing Weasley mention marriage. Marriage! They were still children! He had thought the boy ridiculous. Of course, barely more than two weeks later, he was dead.

It still boggled the mind, however, that ten years after the dimwitted boy's death Granger would still be grieving like this. Perhaps she was not as bright as he had thought. She was a smart witch and not unattractive (although certainly not what anyone would call pretty, he thought quickly). Surely she could have her choice of wizards. Or Muggles for that matter. Yes, he could see her doing something silly like marrying a Muggle. But it seemed that her heart was still firmly in the past or, more to the point, in the ground.

"_And you certainly don't live in the past, do you Severus?'_"he heard the voice in his head. Damn! It had snuck up on him this time. He firmly pushed those thoughts out of his mind and returned to his grading.

* * *

Hermione woke suddenly around mid day with the feeling of disorientation that comes with sleeping during the day. Her mouth felt dry and her head had a dull ache to it. As she looked at her clock she heard her stomach rumble. It was nearly noon and she had hardly eaten anything since the evening before. Unwilling to go down to lunch, she floo-called to the kitchen and requested a plate of sandwiches. Although she had finally given up on S.P.E.W., she still felt a twinge of guilt when asking house elves for their assistance. Sure enough, though, not five minutes later a house elf appeared quickly with the tray and leaving again so soon she almost thought she had imagined it.

After eating she tried to settle back down to reading the book she had started earlier, but she found it difficult to concentrate. Her head continued to ache and she was having a difficult time keeping her eyes focused. She closed her eyes, rubbing her temples. What she wouldn't give to be able to get something from Madam Pomfrey, but she didn't dare.

As the afternoon went into evening, she began to feel continually worse. Her stomach began cramping and her head was throbbing. She felt like she had been run down by a herd of elephants. She finally gave up trying to do anything beyond lay in bed. Shortly after dinner time, she heard a faint knock on her door.

"Oh, Merlin," she whispered to herself. "Just go away."

She heard the knock again, this time louder. She lay still hoping that whoever it was would leave, but then she heard it a third time, this time was quite loud. She dragged herself off the bed and managed to stumble to the door, wrenching it open. Severus Snape was standing on the other side holding a vial of murky looking brown liquid.

"What are you doing here?" she asked squinted up at him as the light from the hall hurt her eyes.

"It will help with some of the pain," he said holding up the vial. "Unfortunately I cannot give you anything to help you sleep, given the situation, but it should make you more comfortable."

Hermione looked at him in surprise. Was Snape actually doing something kind?

"Well, you might as well come in," she said motioning him in the door. He stepped in gingerly, almost as if he were afraid it was a trap. "Sorry it's so dark in here. The light hurts my eyes."

Severus just nodded, not speaking and handed her the potion. She swallowed it quickly but began retching as soon as she had forced it down.

"I apologize for the taste. It is quite foul."

Hermione just nodded as she ran to get a drink of water.

"That was vile!" She gasped between gulps. "You could have warned me!"

"I suppose, but that would have taken some of the fun out of it for me."

Hermione looked up at him trying to gauge if he was joking or not. Surely not! She had never heard Professor Snape joke.

"Would you like a seat?" she asked motioning to an armchair. He moved toward it and picked up the book she had been reading.

"Shakespeare's sonnets? Rather interesting reading for an old maid." As he said the words, inwardly he cringed. He couldn't seem to help himself.

"If you're going to insult me you can leave," Hermione said coldly holding out her hand for the book. He returned the volume but did not rise.

"I will keep my tongue in check, Miss Granger. I would hate to add to your already heaping list of problems."

Hermione sat down in the chair opposite him and closed her eyes leaning her head back. With her eyes closed, Severus took a moment to study her. She had changed into pajamas at some point that afternoon and he noticed how thin she was without the bulk of robes to hide it. She had clearly not been eating well; loss of appetite was also a side effect of prolonged Sleeping Potion use. She seemed to have permanent dark circles under her eyes and her face was flushed with fever and thin. It surprised him now to realize how poor she looked. It was hard to notice when he saw her everyday, but when he thought back to the girl he knew ten years before, it almost was not the same person. When he thought to the start of term, it was clear she had lost weight, even since then.

Hermione could feel his eyes on her and she slowly opened her own expecting to see him look away. Instead, however, he met and held her gaze for a long moment and, for a brief second, she almost had a feeling of mutual understanding.

"Why are you doing this?" she said as he finally broke eye contact.

"Doing what?"

"Being kind to me. In all the years I've known you, which is quite a few if you stop to think of it, you have never once been deliberately kind to me." She tried to get him to look at her, but he now kept his eyes firmly downcast.

"I would have thought that was obvious, Miss Granger."

"Well, you're going to have to explain it to me," she said quietly.

"Do you not remember the meeting we had with Professor McGonagall at the beginning of the year? One more scandal and Hogwarts is closed. I do believe a teacher being addicted to Sleeping Potions might be considered a scandal. I'm not only saving your neck, but my neck and everyone else's as well."

"Oh." Hermione could think of nothing more to say and was suddenly grateful for the dark as she felt her face flush. What was she thinking? That he wanted to be friends? That he thought she was someone worth being nice to?This was Severus Snape. Former Death Eater and murderer. He didn't make friends. And certainly not with bushy haired know-it-all former Gryffindors that were best friends with the Chosen One.

'_Stupid, stupid, stupid',_ she thought to herself.

As Hermione was mentally yelling at herself, Severus' conscience was also yelling. _'Do you have to be rude EVERY time she tries to be nice to you? Why can't you just accept her kindness? No woman has ever tried so hard to be nice to you since…' _He mentally told the voice exactly where it could go and the rest of that thought was drowned out.

"Well," he said standing up and clearing his throat as if he had been the one to make a fool of himself. "I suppose I should go."

Hermione just nodded as he walked toward the door. As he put a hand on the door knob she called out to him.

"Professor?" He paused at the door and looked back.

"That was really very kind of you. Even if it was just to save our necks."

He paused for a long moment staring back at her. Then he surprised himself by letting go of the door knob and taking a couple steps back into the room. "Has it helped at all? The pain potion? It should start to work almost immediately."

"I think my head feels a little better. It still hurts but at least I can stand the sound of my own voice."

"Well, I'm glad you can. That's one of us at least." Although the words were harsh, Hermione could hear a hint of amusement in them.

"Perhaps…" he cleared his throat and paused for so long Hermione didn't think he would continue. "Perhaps it would help to have someone keep you company; to keep your mind off the pain."

Hermione looked up at him in surprise and he wasn't sure what she was going to say. But her face broke out into a smile and she looked delighted.

"That would be lovely, Professor."

Severus looked around unsure of what to do with himself, but Hermione motioned back to the chair he had been sitting in so he returned to it.

"If you would like, I suppose I could read to you. As a way to pass the time. It would be hard for you to read as one of the side effects is blurred vision." He shifted in his chair unsure of how to behave. Again Hermione smiled and stood up walking, although still rather unbalanced, over to a bookshelf. She pulled a very large book off of it and brought it over.

"Shakespeare probably isn't very appropriate, so perhaps you would read from this?"

She handed the book to him and he nearly laughed outright when he saw the revised edition of _Hogwarts, A History_ staring back at him. He raised an eyebrow and looked up at her.

"A bit of light reading Miss Granger?"

"Yes," she said smiling as she lit a nearby candle with her wand. "You can skip over the part when… well, you know."

Normally a reference to the incident on the Astronomy Tower would send him into a fit of rage. However the complete lack of malice (or worse, pity) in her voice put him more at ease and he passed over the comment without responding. Instead, he opened the book, skipped the chapters until after the defeat of Voldemort and began to read.

Hermione settled herself in the chair across from Severus listening to him read. He had quite a nice voice, really, when he wasn't yelling. She closed her eyes and relaxed. Her head had very much improved and she only felt a few twinges in her stomach. Her legs and arms still had a dull ache, but it was manageable. She could not relax enough to fall asleep but at least she wasn't in the pain she had been in earlier.

Severus continued reading for several hours and Hermione alternated between relaxing and shifting restlessly in her chair when a twinge of pain would hit her. Any time she moved or grunted in pain, Severus' eyes would lift from the page and he would pause for a moment until she was comfortable again. Finally, several lengthy chapters past where he had begun, he looked up at her and did not look back down again.

"Miss Granger," he said quietly and her dozing form jumped awake. "It is well past midnight and you can hardly keep your eyes open. I believe it is time for me to go."

"Yes, I suppose you are right," she said feeling a little disappointed. It had been nice to have company, even if it was the most hated professor at Hogwarts, but she did not argue. "You must be about to fall asleep yourself."

"Actually, I require very little sleep, but I don't want to deprive you of yours." He set the book on the table and rose. "The potion will wear off again before morning. I will bring you more in a few hours. If you like, I will also speak to Professor McGonagall in the morning and let her know that you will not be well enough to teach classes today."

Hermione nodded, but was too tired to say anything more. He let himself out the door and as soon as he left she crawled into bed and fell asleep.


	10. The Allknowing Portrait

Chapter 10- The All-knowing Portrait

Severus reached his room managing to avoid anyone, including disobedient students, who might be roaming the halls. He prepared more of the potion to take back on his next trip and then went into his rooms and attempted to sleep. It was hard to sleep, however, with all the thoughts going through his head. He had just had one of the strangest evenings of his life. And considering his life, that was saying something indeed. Had anyone told him even a day ago that he would have spent the evening reading to Hermione Granger, he would have told them they were mad. Yet, not only had he done so, but he had even almost enjoyed it.

'_Of course, Miss Granger is always more enjoyable when her mouth is shut.' _He thought to himself. But he could not shake the thought that somehow they had more in common than he ever would have guessed. It was a strange comfort to him that he was not the only person tortured with memories of the past. This was the thought in his mind as he fell into a restless sleep.

He woke up several hours later with a start. He had not meant to sleep more than an hour or two and he could see the first hint of light on the horizon. The potion would have surely worn off by now. He quickly rose and grabbed the potion on his way out the door.

When he reached the door of the Charms Professor's quarters, he knocked expecting her to answer quickly. He stood waiting several minutes and there was still no response.

_'Perhaps she is sleeping,'_ he thought to himself. Not wanting to disturb her if the potion's effects had lasted longer than expected, he set the vial of potion down outside the door. When she awoke, hopefully she would find it there. He was about to turn to leave when he faintly heard a sound inside. It sounded like a faint whimper, almost like a hurt animal. He paused a moment longer wondering if it had been his imagination when he heard it again, this time louder. He knocked on the door again, this time also trying to turn the door knob to no avail.

"Miss Granger," he called out. "Are you alright?"

There was no response, but he could hear it louder now. She was moaning as if in pain and he could also hear the sound of crying.

"Miss Granger?" he called once more. Again, no response was directed toward him. He paced back and forth for a moment unsure what to do.

"Bloody hell," he muttered to himself. Then he stopped at the door, wand drawn, and hoping she did not have any unusual wards on her door.

"_Alohomora,"_ he muttered and he heard the door unlock. He turned the handle and walked through. Finding his way to her bedroom, he could see her tossing and turning on the bed, still clearly asleep, with tears streaming down her face. He walked over to the side of the bed looking down at her.

She was clearly crying and he heard her mumble though her tears, "Don't die Ron! I'm sorry..."

Severus backed away in shock. He had known that this was the source of her bad dreams, but to see it for himself was shocking. He wondered to himself again what kind of person loved so completely that they still mourned after all this time. He gently reached down and shook her.

"Miss Granger," he said nudging her arm.

She jumped awake and looked up at him with a confused look on her face. She reached up with her hand feeling the tears on her face.

"How did you get in here?" she asked harshly, feeling embarrassed that someone, especially Snape, would have seen her like this.

"A_lohomora_, Professor Granger," he said annoyed at her reaction. "I would have thought you would have known that spell by now. In fact, I would have thought it was your job to teach it."

Hermione suddenly felt embarrassed. Of course that would be how he got in. She had little time to think any more of it, however, as she was hit with a stomach cramp that nearly made her double over with pain.

"I'm sorry," she managed to say, gasping for breath. "You surprised me."

Severus reached down with the vial of potion bring it to her mouth as she appeared incapable of holding it herself at the moment. He held her head in his other hand as if she were a child. He could feel the heat of her fever pressing into his palm.

"Drink."

She swallowed the potion, grimacing at the taste, but better prepared for it this time. She continued to grasp her stomach in pain for several long moments and then her muscles began to ease and she relaxed her position so she was sitting upright.

"Thank you," she finally managed to say and she lay back against the pillows, her hair fanning out around her and her eyes closed. Severus turned around and began to head toward the door.

"How do you deal with it, Professor?" Hermione asked. He turned around and her eyes were now open and looking at him.

"Deal with what?" he asked but he knew the answer.

"The pain. The guilt. Of knowing your actions caused the death of someone you loved."

Her words sent his mind reeling. Of course she could not mean… She had no way of knowing… She meant Dumbledore of course. Yet he suddenly felt that for the first time someone understood him completely.

"I don't believe I am the right person to ask of that, Miss Granger. Unless you plan to spend the next decade locked away in a small house."

Strangely enough this answer seemed to satisfy her and she just nodded.

"You don't have to leave," she said as he put his hand on the door.

"Professor Granger, I do believe I have spent enough time in your quarters for one night."

Hermione blushed at the implication. "Oh. I guess I didn't think of it like that."

Severus looked at her for a long moment. "Get some rest. I will be back later to see if you need anything more."

* * *

A couple hours later, Severus found himself sitting in front of the headmistress. She looked at him from across the desk and, much to his relief, the portrait of Dumbledore appeared to be sleeping.

"What brings you to my office at such an early hour, Severus?"

"Professor Granger asked me to come on her behalf. It appears she took a turn for the worse last night and will not be available to teach today. I told her I would let you know."

Minerva looked at him in surprise. She could not imagine the circumstances that would have made Severus Hermione's messenger.

"Thank you for letting me know. May I ask how you came to be the one to bring me this information? I was not aware you and Professor Granger spent much time in each other's company."

"Professor Granger came to me late yesterday for some Pepperup Potion," he said smoothly, completely unfazed about lying. "She said she did not want to bother Poppy as she was so busy with students. I told her I would let you know she wasn't feeling well."

Minerva nodded considering this information and then glanced at a couple papers before looking up at him. "Would it be possible for you to cover her fifth year Slytherin and Hufflepuff class?"

"Of course, Professor."

"Thank you again, Severus. I am glad to see that you and Professor Granger appear to have put the past behind you."

"I just gave her some potion, Professor. It's not as if I'm friends with that bookworm." Severus stalked out of the room, his robes flying behind him. Minerva just gave a small smile. Behind her a set of eyes on a portrait opened.

"He always did hide behind his insults," the portrait said chuckling.

"You are right as usual, Albus." And she returned to her work.

* * *

Several hours later Severus found himself leaving the Charms classroom feeling more impressed than he dared to admit. Not only did Professor Granger appear to have excellent control over the classroom (he had only found two opportunities to deduct points), but the fifth years were so far ahead that they seemed to be more ready to take N.E.W.Ts than O.W.Ls. If the class he had just witnessed was any indication, virtually all the students would pass the Charms O.W.L and most of them with an "O".

He climbed several flights of stairs to the seventh floor and walked to the door to her room. This time when he knocked she answered promptly.

It appeared she had just gotten out of the bath; her hair was still wet and hanging limply around her shoulders and she was wearing a pink robe.

"Good morning, Professor Snape," she said with a smile letting him into the room. "Although I suppose good afternoon may be closer."

"You appear to be doing better. Do you need any more potion?" he asked feeling slightly uncomfortable at her lack of clothing. It seemed she never paid attention to how she appeared to anyone else and propriety had never entered her mind as a concern.

"I am feeling better, thank you. I still have some pain now and then, but it appears to be getting better. Unfortunately I'm not sleeping any better, though." She sat in a chair sipping from a cup of tea. "Would you like some?"

"No thank you Professor. The sleeping will get better, but it will take time," he said shifting nervously. "I just came from filling in for one of your fifth year classes."

"Oh," she said suddenly nervous herself. She paused and took a deep breath as if awaiting punishment. "Well, let me have it, Professor. How woefully behind are my students?"

"Actually, they are perhaps the most prepared group of students I have ever come across, although if I catch you repeating that I will firmly deny it." He felt like cursing himself for actually being honest.

Hermione nearly fell over from shock. She had never heard Severus compliment another's teaching before.

"Well, I take that as a very high compliment, indeed, Professor. I have always thought you a very good teacher, if a little unorthodox." She smiled at him hoping he would understand her joke. Instead he looked at his watch.

"I have a class in ten minutes, so if there is nothing else that you require, I will be going."

"No. I think I will manage on my own," she said as he turned to leave. "But perhaps we could speak to each other civilly again sometime?"

"Perhaps," he said, the corners of his mouth turning up into what faintly resembled a smile.

As he walked down to the dungeons it occurred to him that this was only the second professor he had worked with who he both respected as a professional and who seemed to accept him for who he was. Of course, the first time had turned badly to put it politely. This troubling thought stayed with him all the way down to his classroom making him feel uneasy. As he turned down the hall to his room he saw a parchment airplane flying down the hall.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. O'Donnell."

_'Much better', _he thought to himself as the students groaned and filed into his classroom.


	11. A Secret Revealed

Chapter 11-A Secret Revealed

As the days of December passed, Hermione slowly felt herself recovering. Although many of the nights still passed with agonizing slowness, the dreams seemed to be less intense than they once were and when she woke in the mornings, she felt more rested. She tried to keep herself busy during the days with her students, Christmas shopping in Hogsmeade and listening to Neville's increasing anxiety over his upcoming wedding. Luna had moved in to the house in Hogsmeade and Hermione visited with her several times over the following weeks. Although she was still somewhat eccentric, she had become more level-headed with time and Hermione had come to appreciate her unusual sense of humor and sharp intelligence.

She and Severus never discussed the night they spent in each other's company, however nearly everyone noticed that they appeared to be almost friendly to each other. Professor Sprout had even told Neville that she had seen Severus smile at something Hermione said once, although Neville refused to believe it. The two could now frequently be seen sitting together at meals, although usually not talking.

Severus found this new development to be unnerving at times. Friendship was never something that came easily for him and he was never sure if he was behaving properly. He was still prone to making rude comments yet they did not seem to bother Hermione as much as they once did. It was as if she knew that he did not mean the things he said.

Soon it was time for Christmas break and the castle seemed to be a flurry of activity. Because they no longer had Hagrid to bring in the traditional Christmas trees, they were charmed to bring themselves in. Hermione, feeling in a particularly festive mood one staff meeting, had volunteered to be in charge of decorating. She managed to recruit many of the Gryffindor students and several teachers, (excluding Severus, who glared at her when she had dared to ask) to help with the decorating.

There was also much activity in regards to Neville and Luna's wedding, which was set to be in the Great Hall on Christmas Eve. There had been much talk about it in the _Daily Prophet_ as both Neville and Luna were purebloods and because of their affiliation with the Order of the Phoenix and help in the downfall of Voldemort. Of course, the _Quibbler _had been doing its share of stories on the subject as well. It was widely known that not only would the Chosen One be in attendance, but the Minister of Magic himself had insisted on officiating. Neville's grandmother, who was getting on in years, yet still a force to be reckoned with, was apparently beside herself with happiness.

As the day of the wedding arrived, Hogsmeade inns were full of guests arriving by various methods. Every few minutes someone new was popping out of the fireplace at the Three Broomsticks and if you weren't careful walking down the street, you ran the risk of someone apparating on you. Hermione herself saw Thestrals pulling a carriage carrying Minister Shaklebolt who was greeted in the Front Entrance by Professor McGonagall and Neville.

As Hermione left the Great Hall that morning after breakfast, Severus was entering it.

"Professor!" she said nearly running into him as he swung the door open. "You nearly scared me to death!"

"My apologies, Miss Granger," he said smirking. "I meant to merely scare you speechless."

Hermione tried to stifle her laughter. "Feeling chipper this morning, aren't you? Will you be attending the wedding this evening?"

"As much as I would love nothing more than to be spending Christmas Eve alone in my rooms and ignoring this commotion, Professor McGonagall has made it more than clear that the presence of all teachers is 'strongly encouraged'. So, much to Longbottom's regret, I am sure, I will be attending tonight, if only for the smallest amount of time possible." He appeared to be highly disgruntled at the idea of attending the wedding.

"Well Professor," said Hermione with an amused smile on her face, "you will have to save me a dance."

"Miss Granger," he growled, "_I do not dance!"_

Hermione merely smiled and continued on her way.

Severus watched her go and could not help but feel amused. In the last several weeks Hermione reminded him more and more of the student he had once known. Her face was no longer so pale and her eyes no longer looked sunken into her face. Although it was hard to tell through the robes, it also appeared she had put on some weight and once again looked healthy. She still spent most of her free time with her nose stuck in a book, but she also had a quick sense of humor that he had never known before and she loved a good intelligent debate. She had made so much progress in the last few weeks from when he first saw her at Spinner's End, perhaps she was finally putting her grief behind her. He only hoped that the anniversary of the Final Battle would not set her back.

* * *

Late in the afternoon, Hermione began dressing for the wedding. She had finally worked up the nerve and gone to Gladrags earlier in the week and bought a new set of dress robes. They were sapphire blue silk and cost her nearly a month's wages, but they were the finest clothes she had ever owned. She reasoned that if she was going to be seen by most of the finest in wizarding society, she could at least look nice doing it. She had a pair of sapphire earrings that her parents had given to her when she turned seventeen and matched the dress perfectly. Using a variety of potions and spells, she managed to smooth her hair into curls rather than the usual frizz. She looked in the mirror and for once felt satisfied with the reflection she saw back. As she was finishing, she heard a knock at the door and when she answered it, saw Ginny and Harry staring back at her.

"It so good to see you two!" she said after she had greeted them both with requisite hugs. "But where is Ronnie?"

"We left him with Bill and Fleur. They're at the Burrow for Christmas but Fleur didn't feel up to coming since she's pregnant again," Ginny said with a roll of her eyes, "so they agreed to watch him. We're apparating back tonight so it's only for a few hours. Hermione, you really look lovely!"

Ginny spent the next several minutes admiring Hermione's robes and Hermione spent several admiring Ginny's as well. Ginny was wearing dark red robes and although she looked more motherly these days, she was still beautiful. Harry meanwhile sat in a chair looking bored. Finally they moved on to another topic of conversation.

"So, how's Snape been?" Harry asked as they got ready to go down to the Great Hall.

Hermione suddenly felt like she was at a loss for words. She wasn't sure how to classify her relationship with the Potions Master. Friendship seemed like too strong a word, but she wasn't sure what else to call it.

"We have actually gotten along rather well," she said closing the door behind her.

Harry's eyebrows rose so high they disappeared behind the fringe of dark hair on his forehead. "That wasn't what I was expecting to hear. I thought I would hear all about the cruel comments he made and how many times you almost hexed him."

Hermione laughed. "Well, he does make cruel comments and I threaten to hex him nearly every day, but we're more just…well…joking."

There was a sudden choking sound and Hermione looked over to see Ginny's face turning red while Harry slapped her on the back.

"Dear Merlin," Ginny said once she caught her breath. "Has anyone checked the temperature in Hades lately? Snape knows how to joke?"

"Well, not in the traditional sense," Hermione said smiling to herself. "It's not as if he laughs or anything. It's hard to explain. Maybe tonight you'll see for yourself. He's supposed to be here."

Harry gave Hermione a long look but said nothing as they descended the final flight of stairs into the Entrance Hall. There were dozens of people milling about talking in small groups casually heading into the Great Hall to take their seats. In a group close to the stairs was Molly, Arthur, Percy, Penelope, George and a young woman with dark hair that Hermione didn't recognize. George was the first to see them.

"Hermione! You look wonderful!" The group soon dissolved into hugs and laughter as Hermione greeted everyone. As she turned to the dark headed woman, George spoke up. "This is Natalie McDonald. She was several years younger than you so I don't know if you remember her."

"Oh, your manager?" Hermione asked. Once George had said the name she faintly recognized the pretty young woman. "He was singing your praises this summer."

Natalie blushed and, much to Hermione's surprise, so did George.

"I told you she was indispensable," he said with a wink.

The group headed toward the Great Hall greeting various people along the way. Hermione saw Neville's grandmother chatting animatedly with the Minister of Magic. She saw former classmates and waved hello to both Seamus Finnegan and Lavender Brown. Suddenly she saw a slender woman with shoulder length hair, bright blue to match her robes dragging along a nervous looking man.

"Tonks!" she said pulling the woman into a hug. "I haven't seen you in ages! I love the hair!"

Tonks laughed and returned the hug. "You know me, I love to experiment. This is my fiancé Michael." She introduced the man next to her. Then she dropped her voice to a stage whisper. "He's a Muggle. All this still makes him nervous."

"Hi Michael," Hermione said smiling and shaking his hand. "I'm Muggle-born myself. It takes some getting used to, doesn't it?"

Michael laughed and nodded. "I never know who I'm going to wake up next to. One morning there was an old lady in my bed. I swore my heart would never recover."

Everyone laughed as Tonks punched him in the arm and they went into the Great Hall. The Hall was no longer recognizable. There were rows and rows of chairs and flowers of every color imaginable. They took their seats and it was only a few minutes later when the ceremony started.

Wizarding weddings were very similar to Muggle ones, except for the use of a wand during the wedding vows that magically bonded the two together. Sadly, Hermione thought forty-five minutes into the ceremony, this one was both very long and very boring. Apparently the Minister was taking his job _very_ seriously. As he continued to drone on, she began to look around the room for Severus. She was beginning to wonder if he had decided to skip out on it when she finally spotted him in the last row in the far corner. He was dressed all in black, of course, however his robes somehow looked a little nicer than usual and he had pulled his hair back into a ponytail. She smiled imagining Severus actually attempting to dress up.

As if he could feel someone staring at him, Severus suddenly turned his head and looked over at her. For a moment he didn't recognize the young woman in sapphire blue, with long dark curls cascading down her back. It was with shock that he realized he was staring at the same woman he ate every meal sittingnext to.

Hermione smiled at him and thought she saw a faint smile in return. She could not be sure, however, as she suddenly felt an elbow in her ribs. She looked over at Harry who leaned over and whispered, "Stop flirting with the bat."

"I was doing no such thing!" Hermione whispered back heatedly, feeling herself blush. Harry just rolled his eyes and she thought she heard him mutter something about suddenly feeling sick.

The ceremony finally came to a close and they slowly filed out. As everyone milled about the Entrance Hall, some even braving the cold to go out on the grounds, Hermione searched out Neville and Luna.

"It was a beautiful ceremony," Hermione said hugging Luna while she tried to avoid her enormous headpiece. Luna's taste had remained the same over the years and although her dress was normal enough (although more frilly than Hermione cared for) she appeared to be wearing a large hat with a bird perched on top of it and a giant bow trailing behind. "It's lovely that so many people could come."

"Yes, I'm sure most of them just came to be seen with the Minister, but it was still a very nice ceremony," Luna said with her trademark honesty. "In fact, I don't recognize half of them."

Hermione nearly snorted with laughter and Neville's face appeared to be turning red. As she turned away, the doors to the Great Hall opened once again and the room had been magically transformed. All the rows were already gone and in its place were tables and chairs. She was just about to head off to find the Weasleys again, when she saw Severus sneaking away toward the dungeons.

"Professor Snape!" she called loudly to him. He stopped suddenly but did not turn. She walked over to him. "Did you really think you were going to sneak away?"

"As a matter of fact, I did." He said turning to face her. "I have no intention of going in there and…mingling." He said the word as if he had a bad taste in his mouth.

"Come," Hermione said pulling at his arm. "You can sit with us."

"Miss Granger, I have absolutely no intention of sitting with the Weasleys and Potter. I would sooner have tea with all the Death Eaters in Azkaban."

"Professor, do you really want me to go find Minerva and tell her you are sneaking off early? Come, I promise they will all be nice."

Severus looked at her with doubt in his eyes but said nothing. He really just wanted to get away. Not only were weddings one of the things he hated most in the world, the presence of Hermione was beginning to make him nervous. What was this she was wearing? And why did her hair look so different? It looked…soft. Severus was not a man who enjoyed change and this change was making him very uncomfortable.

They made their way into the Great Hall where she soon found the table. Given the number of Weasleys, they had divided up among two tables and Harry, Ginny, George and Natalie were sitting at one with Molly, Arthur, Percy and Penelope at another. Hermione went toward the table with Harry and Ginny. As they approached Harry's eyes grew wide as he saw who she was bringing with her.

"Harry," she said slightly out of breath. "It seems that Professor Snape was trying to sneak away. I told him he was more than welcome at our table. You all don't mind do you?"

"Uh…no! Not at all. Good to see you Professor," Harry said nervously.

"Potter," Severus said slightly inclining his head. It was as gracious as he could be.

Both he and Hermione seated themselves and what would have been a very awkward silencewas relieved by the arrival of the food magically appearing on the plates. They ate with little conversation until Ginny finally spoke up.

"So, Professor Snape, have you been enjoying your return to Hogwarts?" she said in what she hoped was a friendly voice.

"If you consider having melted cauldrons and daily trips by the students to the hospital ward enjoyable," Severus said sarcastically. Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes. Really, he was hopeless.

Ginny just smiled and returned her attention to her plate. It appeared that there would be no further conversation until suddenly Horace Slughorn turned up.

"Severus!" he cried jovially as he waddled over to them. "I haven't seen you in years! How are you m'boy?"

"Oh just lovely," Severus said in the same tone he had used with Ginny.

"Good, good. It's nice to see you out. And sitting here with Hermione and Harry too! Well, times certainly have changed haven't they? Why there was a time when you and Harry couldn't even look at each other without wands drawn."

Hermione flinched at the words. No one at the table needed reminded of Harry and Severus' painful past however Slughorn continued on as if oblivious.

"Funny, really, that you and Harry would hate each other so much when you and Lily got on so well."

All activity at the table suddenly stopped. Hermione heard George's fork clatter onto his plate; Ginny sat open-mouthed with her fork mid-air; Harry was now glaring at Severus and Severus was staring at nothing at all. Slughorn appeared to have noticed the sudden change and looked around.

"Did I say something? Surely you all knew that Severus and Lily were friends. I mean, they were both top Potions students and both were in the Slug Club. I thought it was common knowledge."

"No," said Harry, his voice tense with anger. "I don't believe anyone ever mentioned it to me." He rose suddenly as if to leave, but Hermione put a hand on his arm.

"Sit, Harry," she whispered. "Let Professor Snape explain."

"I believe Horace has already done that for me," Severus snarled. "What else is there to say?"

"Maybe why you would betray her?" Harry said, his voice rising in anger. "Why you would call her Mudblood? You certainly didn't look like her friend in the Pensieve!" People at the nearby tables were beginning to whisper and Arthur had come over to see what the problem was.

"Don't talk about things you don't understand, _Potter,"_ Severus said also rising up from his chair.

"Then I think you better explain them to me if you plan on leaving this room in one piece." Hermione could see Harry grasping his wand in the folds of his robes and groaned under her breath. This was definitely not the type of publicity Hogwarts needed.

"_Outside. Now."_ Severus growled at him. Harry stormed out of the room, Severus following after him. Hermione and Ginny looked at each other and ran out the doors after them.


	12. Answers

_A/N: Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed! Also thanks to RenitaLeandra for all her work!_

* * *

Chapter 12- Answers

Once Hermione and Ginny managed to work their way through the crowd of people and reach the outdoors, Harry and Severus were already glaring at each other, wands drawn.

"NO!" Hermione shouted as they reached them. She looked at Severus. "You know what this would mean for Hogwarts. The governors would insist on closing it. The way it is there might be trouble."

"I have told you before, Miss Granger, I could care less what happens to this school," Severus said not taking his eyes off of Harry. They both raised their wands as if preparing to duel.

"I don't believe that," Hermione said quietly. Severus did not respond but turned to look at her for a long moment. Slowly he put his wand away. Harry gave a desperate look at Ginny who shook her head, and he also put down his wand.

"I want answers," Harry said tersely.

"Don't ask for something unless you're sure you want it, Potter," Severus said. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe there was a reason this was withheld from you? As usual you respond only with your emotions. I expected you to have matured with age."

"Those lines don't work on me anymore, Snape," Harry said approaching Severus menacingly. "You are not my teacher. I don't have to show you any respect anymore. My parents were betrayed by one friend and he got what he deserved in the end. It was bad enough knowing what you did, believing you were enemies with them. But I swear if you betrayed my mother's friendship I will make sure you meet the same fate as Peter Pettigrew."

"Fine, Potter, if you want answers, I'll give them to you. But we're not doing this here where everyone can see." Severus pulled Harry by the arm and headed toward the doors. He called back behind them, "Miss Granger, Mrs. Potter, if you plan on joining us you had better keep up."

Hermione and Ginny both ran after them and Severus led them through the castle down to the dungeons and into his quarters. They entered the rooms and he slammed the door behind them.

"Well, Potter. What questions do you want answers to?"

"Was Slughorn telling the truth? Were you friends with my mother?"

"Yes, in a matter of speaking. We were both in the Slug Club and we had similar interests. It was not common knowledge but for a brief time I believe we both considered each other a friend."

"How brief a time?"

"About a year. Fifth year to be exact."

"And what happened? Why did the friendship end?" Harry began pacing the room.

"I believe you already answered that for yourself, Potter. The incident you saw in the Pensieve effectively ended any friendship we had."

"Because you called her Mudblood." It was not a question. Hermione winced at the thought, having been called that herself more than once. Severus did not answer right away. Finally he spoke quietly.

"Yes," he said. "I will only explain this once. I…regret my words that day. I attempted to apologize but Lily would have nothing to do with it. That's the end of the story."

"No, its not," Harry said. "It's not even close. How could you have betrayed her with the Prophecy? Or were you getting revenge on her?"

"You have forgotten, Potter. I had no idea who the Prophecy referred to until after Voldemort had made his plans clear."

"Yet you still let her die!"

"NO!" shouted Severus, his face contorting. "I did not let her die! I tried to stop it. Voldemort would have let her live at MY request."

A silence seemed to fall over the group as they watched his violent reaction. His face was red; his hair had fallen loose of the ponytail and was hanging in his face.

"Why?" asked Ginny, speaking up for the first time. Severus stood still, breathing hard but saying nothing.

"My wife asked you a question, I suggest you answer it," said Harry.

"Why do you think? Because we were friends."

"No," said Ginny. "You hadn't been friends for years. Surely that wouldn't be enough when you were willing to let James and Harry die. Why would you…"

"BECAUSE I WAS IN LOVE WITH HER! THERE! IS EVERYONE SATISFIED NOW?" The room seemed to echo with his words. Hermione looked pale, Ginny was shaking and Harry looked as if he was going to be sick.

"You…was she in love with you?" Harry looked as if he could barely force the words past his lips.

"Don't worry yourself, Potter," Severus said seeing the look of disgust on the other man's face. "You're mother had no clue how I felt. Her head was too full of your father; even then, as much as she tried to deny it. I was just the scrawny Slytherin boy who actually understood what she was saying in Potions class."

Harry stood, speechless, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. "Why was I never told?"

"Albus wanted to. We argued about it more than once. He thought you would understand better if you knew everything." Severus appeared to be unwilling to stop now that he had started talking. "I convinced him to say nothing. Nothing good could have come from it."

"I would have known the truth!"

"Yes. And what would you have done with that truth? How would you have felt back then when you wanted to kill me almost as much as Voldemort?"

There was a long pause with only the sound of breathing interrupting the complete silence in the room.

"I would have been furious," Harry said quietly, finally understanding. "I would have hated you even more."

Again, there was nothing but silence as everyone thought about what both Severus and Harry had just said.

"Perhaps we should be going now," Ginny finally said, holding onto Harry's arm. "I don't think there is much else to say. Besides, I'm pretty sure my parents will be sending down a search party shortly. Hermione, we'll owl you later."

As she walked to the door Severus called out to them. "Mister Potter?"

Harry turned around and looked at him.

"Please know that I did everything I could to stop it. I never intended…" his voice trailed away as he seemed unable to find the words. Harry just nodded.

"Thank you, Professor," he said before they went out the door, leaving Severus as he realized he had been forgiven at last.

Hermione remained in the room but said nothing. Severus had sunk into a chair, his head in his hands. She walked over to him sitting down in the chair next to him, her thoughts full of the revelations he had just made. Suddenly so many things made sense. Why he had been so devastated when Voldemort had killed Harry's parents; why his hatred of James seemed to extend beyond just the rivalry they'd had. But especially why he had treated Harry with hatred, yet still felt driven to protect him, even at risk to himself.

"Professor?" she said quietly. He didn't respond. "S…Severus?" she had never called him by his first name before, yet after all this it seemed that such formality was absurd.

"Leave," he said shortly.

"I'm not leaving until I know that you're okay."

"I am fine. There is no reason to be concerned about me."

"Could…could you tell me what Harry was talking about? With the Pensieve?"

Severus looked at her in surprise. "You mean he never told you? I would have thought he would have rushed back to tell his friends about how Snape got what he deserved." He paused for a moment and then began to speak. "He…stumbled onto a memory of mine while he was taking Occlumency lessons. In it, James humiliated me in front of a group of students. Lily attempted to defend me and I reacted badly. That's all there is to it."

Somehow Hermione thought there was more to it than that, but she said nothing. Clearly whatever had happened had been serious enough to end his friendship with Lily.

Severus lifted his head and looked up at her. "Miss Granger, I have only had two friends in my life. Both of them are dead because of me. You cannot afford to be friends with me. Please, leave now."

Hermione swallowed hard. She still did not want to leave but something in his eyes told her that arguing would not be wise at this particular moment. However, she could not leave things this way. Severus had done so much for her when she was low and she couldn't see abandoning him now. She reached over and grabbed a hold of his hand. It felt calloused and cool under her fingers. She felt his muscles tense as she did so, but he did not look away.

"Perhaps you would rather everyone left you alone. I can't say I would blame you, considering your past. But do not think for a moment that I would prefer it that way." She gave him a small smile and then stood up and walked to the door. "Good-night Severus," she said and then closed the door behind her.

Severus watched her go and then looked down at the hand she had held. "Good-night Hermione," he said to the empty room.


	13. Christmas Thoughts and Wishes

_A/N: Thanks again to everyone who reviewed and to RenitaLeandra for all her work!_

* * *

Chapter 13- Christmas Thoughts and Wishes

Severus had a troubled sleep that night, tossing and turning in his bed. Finally he decided to give up; rising to sit by the fireplace and read instead For a long time his thoughts centered on Lily and the discussion he had had with Harry the night before. It had been a long time since he had thought back to that day in fifth year. And even longer since he had thought back to the day when he discovered Voldemort's plan. He had been beside himself with fear that day. He had finally approached Voldemort with the idea of sparing her life, saying that her ability in potions could be of great use to the Death Eaters. He had admitted to his previous friendship with Lily and had said that perhaps he could persuade her to switch sides. Of course he had known she would never betray the Order, but he was willing to say anything in order to spare her life.

As he sat thinking, however, his thoughts began to switch to another woman. Over the last several weeks he had found himself enjoying Hermione Granger's company. He had told himself that it was only because it was so rare to find an intelligent person to talk to. However, last night had changed things. First she had sought him out, both during the wedding and after. Then she had stopped him and Harry from hexing each other, which probably would have been embarrassing for both. And then, at the end, after he had admitted to everything, she had still stayed behind to make sure he was okay. Him. Severus Snape.

'_Why on earth would she want anything to do with me?' _he thought to himself.

'_Perhaps she sees in you the same things that some other people have.' _The voice was back and as annoying as ever. It had no opportunity to continue, however, as there was a knock on his door. He didn't need to answer it to know who it was.

'_Damn woman can't manage to stay away for even a few hours.' _He walked over to the door and opened it. Hermione stood staring back at him. She looked tired as if she hadn't slept any more than he had. He noticed that she had a small package in her hand.

"Good morning," she said trying to sound cheerful. She looked at him for a moment and then dropped the act. "You haven't slept much either have you?"

"No," Severus said letting her into the room.

"I won't stay long. I know you probably don't want to be bothered. But I wanted to bring you this." She held out the package which, he noticed, was wrapped in red paper and a gold ribbon. She clearly couldn't help herself.

He slowly unwrapped the gift and sat staring at it. It was a book, entitled _Serpents and Purebloods, The Life of Salazar Slytherin_.

"I know you don't have it," said Hermione nervously. "And I hope you haven't read it."

"No, I haven't," Severus said looking at her. "But how do you know I don't have it?"

Hermione blushed. "I asked one of the house-elves to look for me. They said it wasn't on any of your bookshelves."

"Thank you," Severus said. "It is very thoughtful."

"Well, I read it in seventh year. I was trying to understand more about Slytherins with the War and everything. I was hoping to improve inter-house unity. I was really surprised how Salazar really wasn't the villain everyone made him out to be. I mean, yes, at the end it all turned rather ugly, but until then he really wasn't at all how I imagined."

Severus had to smile to himself. Only Hermione Granger would attempt inter-house unity during the height of the War. He could only imagine her trying to convince Potter and Weasley that Slytherins were really just misunderstood. He stood up and picked up a small package he had setting on his desk and handed it to her. She looked up at him delighted and surprised.

"I didn't expect anything in return!" she said and quickly began unwrapping it. She opened the box and inside was a small crystal vial that would have appeared ordinary except that it was faintly glowing. She looked up at him confused. "What is it?"

"Do you mean to tell me that I have found something the Know-it-all doesn't know?" he said, teasing her. Then he bent down and lifted it out of the box for her. In the light it glowed even brighter. "It is a Memory Crystal. Similar to a Pensieve in that it stores memories, but you cannot view them as you can in a Pensieve. Ordinary glass can only hold memories for very short periods of time or they begin to go bad. This will hold them indefinitely. I thought this might be helpful for you at night. You can empty all the bad memories before you go to sleep and it should help prevent nightmares."

Hermione looked at him, her eyes bright with tears. "That is very thoughtful of you, Severus. I don't know what to say." She took the Crystal back and placed it carefully in the box. Then suddenly she jumped up and threw her arms around him. "Thank you," she whispered and he felt her lips brush his cheek.

As she turned from him he saw her face was red and she hurried out of the room without another word. He stood staring, in shock, for several minutes, wondering what had just happened and if he had imagined it. Then he bent down and picked up the book. A slip of parchment fell out from inside the front cover. He picked it up and unfolded it. Written on it was a note from Hermione.

_Dear Severus,_

_I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did. I fear that this gift does not begin to express all the gratitude I have for everything you have done for me. For the first time in ten years I do not spend every thought on the mistakes of the past. I hope you know how much you mean to me and that I consider you a very dear friend. _

_Yours,_

_Hermione_

He continued to stare at the parchment with the neat, even handwriting for several minutes. Then he sat back down by the fire and began to read.

Had it not been for his growling stomach, Severus probably would not have left the room that day. Not only was the book every bit as interesting as Hermione had promised it would be, but he had no desire to be seen by anyone else in the castle. He felt slightly embarrassed by his behavior the night before and he could already imagine the stares and whispers. And Merlin knows what Potter would have told everyone when he returned to the reception. However, his stomach would not leave him be, so he finally decided to join the rest of the staff for the Christmas Feast.

Hermione, meanwhile, had spent most of the morning alternating between yelling at herself for kissing Severus (_but it was only on the cheek_!) and trying to calm the nervous flutters that filled her stomach at the thought of seeing him again (_surely he won't be angry at me for it)_. She had not gone down to the dungeons that morning with the idea she would behave that way, however she had been touched that he had even thought of her enough to give her a gift. She finally decided that her fragile emotional state and lack of rest had just gotten the best of her and she had gotten carried away. Clearly it was just a fluke. She meant nothing by it.

These were the words she continued to tell herself as she headed down to the Christmas Feast. '_Besides, he probably won't be there anyway. He'll be trying to avoid everyone after yesterday's commotion.'_ So, it was with a mixture of nervousness, disappointment and relief when she saw him standing by his usual chair at the High Table talking quietly to Minerva who was standing next to him.

"Merry Christmas, Severus; Minerva," she said sitting next to Severus in her usual spot.

"Merry Christmas, Hermione," Minerva said turning her attention from Severus. "I was just getting filled in on all of last nights events. It caused quite the commotion at the reception. I thought Neville was going to go into shock. But as I was just saying, it appears Harry smoothed everything over and just explained that there had been a misunderstanding."

"Well, that is a relief. I don't think anyone wanted it to reflect poorly on Hogwarts," Hermione said as the food appeared on the table.

"Yes, I think we are all glad for that," Minerva went to take her place at the table. There were a few students at their tables and most of the teachers were there, but for the most part, the Hall was empty and it seemed that everyone's voices were unusually loud.

Hermione and Severus sat in silence for most of the meal. Although this was common, the longer the silence stretched out, the more unnerved Hermione became. She was just about to speak when Severus spoke up instead.

"You are unusually quiet today," he said looking up from his plate. "Normally I can hardly concentrate on my food for all the noise you are making."

Inside Hermione felt relieved. Clearly he meant to continue their relationship as it had been before the previous night.

"If I didn't know better, I would think you were missing it," she said smiling. Severus glanced back over at her and, although he appeared serious, Hermione could tell he was amused.

"Does one miss a fly that is buzzing around their head all day?" he said taking a bite of turkey.

"Some might; perhaps if the fly is the only creature that will tolerate their company."

Severus could not help but let out a small chuckle at this. Hermione looked over at him in shock.

"Was that a _laugh_ I just heard Severus? I would have never guessed you had the capability. I guess Christmas miracles do happen."

"I was clearing my throat. You must have been hearing things." He took several more bites of food before speaking again. "I have been reading the book you gave me. You were right, it is quite good."

"So you like it?" said Hermione, her face lightening with a smile. "I'm so glad. Honestly, I was so worried that you would hate it or have already read it. You will have to tell me what you think when you're done."

They continued to sit companionably in silence, the tension now broken. As the meal came to an end, Hermione stood to rise, but Severus' hand reached out and grabbed a hold of her hand. She looked at their two hands and then at his face. He was looking very serious at her, as if trying to find the right words to say. Finally he stood, standing close enough that she had to tilt her head back and could feel his breath on her face and said, very quietly, "Merry Christmas, Hermione." He stood staring at her for another moment and she thought for a split second that he had leaned toward her, butthen he suddenly turned quickly leaving the table. She did not notice that every face in the room was staring at her.

* * *

'_Oh bloody hell', _Severus thoughtto himself as he walked quickly down to the dungeons. '_What did I just do? What did I just nearly do? Did I actually think about kissing her? There? In front of the entire staff? Have I lost my mind? What was I thinking?' _

His mental tirade continued all the way to his rooms, but far in the back of his mind, he thought he heard what sounded like a chuckle and the words '_good for you.'_


	14. Under the Tree

_A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and to RenitaLeandra for all her work. _

_A bit of Harry Potter nerdness- if I have it figured correctly, the events at the beginning of this chapter would be taking place exactly one year from today- Jan 7, 2008. I never intended it to work out that way- I actually wrote this chapter months ago, but it's still a funny coincidence. _

* * *

Chapter 14- Under the Tree 

The rest of Christmas break passed by in a haze of confusion for Hermione. After Severus had left the Great Hall on Christmas Day, she had turned to see the entire Head Table staring at her. Minerva was the only one who seemed unfazed. The rest of the teachers were staring at her with a mix of confusion and horror. She told herself that she didn't have a clue what they were shocked about. Didn't everyone wish each other a Merry Christmas? However after that day, she saw very little of Severus and came to the conclusion that he must be avoiding her. This left her feeling hurt and confused. She did not understand what she had done to cause this reaction from him.

She did not have much time to dwell on it, however, as the anniversary of the Final Battle was quickly approaching. Her nightmares had begun to return, so she had taken to using the Memory Crystal every night. This did little to help her during the day, though, and she found herself thinking about it more and more as the anniversary came closer. In her classes she was distracted and her students seemed to be noticing. She found herself wishing that she could talk to Severus. He seemed to be the only one who might have understood how she felt. This thought caused her some surprise. Surely she was the only person who had ever actually found the Potions Master comforting.

Two days before the anniversary, she finally managed to catch him in the staffroom. He appeared to be discussing with Pomona some plants that she was having trouble with. She managed to approach him before he could slip away, as he had been doing ever since Christmas.

"Severus, could I have a word with you?" she asked as Pomona slipped out the door.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked, almost coolly. Hermione frowned to herself. What had happened to the friendship they had shared?

"Well, I was wondering if you would be attending the ceremony at Phoenix Park on Friday."

"I was not planning to," he said shortly as he gathered up some rolls of parchment. "I do not care for the kind of attention that is given to me at such events. Most people treat me as if I should be in Azkaban. It's not an enjoyable time for me."

"Oh. I see," Hermione said feeling disappointed. She swallowed hard and turned away. Somehow the anniversary seemed much harder knowing he would not be there. Severus stared at her back for a moment and then turned to go when she called out again. "Severus? Have I done something to anger you?"

"What makes you say that?" He tried to sound annoyed, but he failed.

"You seem to be avoiding me. I just wondered if I had upset you somehow."

When he turned back around he saw she was looking at him. "Hermione, you have done nothing to upset me."

She gave a faint smile, although he could tell she was still disappointed he wasn't going to the ceremony. He walked over to her and stopped just short of taking her hand.

"I'm not going to the celebrations because Friday is my birthday," he said miserably. Hermione's eyes widened with surprise.

"I didn't know! I'm so sorry. I never would have asked…"

"It's never been something that I celebrated. Even before; but to go and have people whispering… It may come as a surprise, but its not very enjoyable being the most hated hero in the wizarding world. The only thing I want for my birthday is to spend it alone; without any accusations being whispered behind my back."

"Of course, I completely understand. Thank you for telling me, though." She smiled at him and as she walked passed him to leave he felt her hand trail along his arm. For a second he felt an impulse to grab it and pull her back, but her hand was gone and the moment passed.

* * *

The day of the anniversary was bright and cold. Although it was a Friday, classes had been cancelled. Many of the students had lost family members in the War and were going to be attending various ceremonies as well as many of the faculty members. 

Hermione woke that day with a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. The ceremony was scheduled to begin at noon, however, she was planning on arriving early to be with Harry. She dressed carefully, knowing _The Daily Prophet_ would be there not just reporting the events but critiquing everyone as well.

She did not go down to breakfast. She had no appetite and she was in no mood to see anyone. Briefly, in the back of her mind, she wished she could see Severus before she left, but she knew he would not want to be bothered.

Shortly after ten o'clock, she made her way downstairs. She was planning to Apparate from outside Hogwarts grounds. She knew Minerva had already left and Neville was planning on going with Luna shortly before the ceremony was to begin. The wind was cold and biting as she stepped outside. She was wearing a heavy cloak and the scarf Ginny had given her, which was a dark blue right now, but she could still feel the cold through the layers of clothing.

She walked down the path to the gates, snow crunching under her feet. As soon as she walked through the gates, she Apparated and then next thing she saw was the village of Little Hangleton in the distance and a large field currently swarming with people.

The first person to spot her was Tonks, who had also just Apparated, her hair a sedate brown for the occasion. "You look about as happy to be here as I feel," she said as they trudged up the hill together.

"Well there are better things I could think of doing today," Hermione said with a small laugh. "Like scrub out my cauldron. Are you going to all the events?"

"Yeah," Tonks said, a little breathless as they reached to top of the hill. "I pretty much have to, being Head of the Auror Office. Really, I'm pretty lucky. Today isn't the anniversary that I dread. That one's already come and gone."

Hermione nodded but said nothing, understanding what the other woman was referring to. A month before the Final Battle, Remus Lupin had been discovered by the other werewolves as a spy. To say his death had been brutal was an understatement. Tonks had been devastated at the time and it was only in the last several years that she had begun to resemble the young woman from before.

They had now reached the crowd. Hermione could see Harry talking to a _Daily Prophet_ reporter, Minerva was talking with Shaklebolt and Hesita Jones and she could see Arthur trying to comfort Molly, who appeared to be crying. She said good-bye to Tonks and walked over toward them. As soon as Molly saw her, she threw her arms around her.

"Oh, Hermione!" she said, her voice muffled into Hermione's cloak. "I'm so glad you're here. It will be so much easier going through this together."

Inwardly Hermione cringed. She was hoping to spend most of her time alone. It was hard for her to grieve properly when people were watching her. But instead she settled for patting Molly's back as the woman continued to sniff and hold on to Hermione like a life raft. Finally Arthur gave Hermione an apologetic smile and pulled his wife away.

"Molly, dear, poor Hermione is going to suffocate if you keep trying to strangle her."

Molly gave a half-sob, half-laugh. "Oh, I'm so sorry dear. I have been dreading this day for months. I just got overwhelmed."

"I understand, Molly. I'm not looking forward to this either."

Soon Ginny joined them holding a heavily bundled Ronnie, who was now as chubby and happy as any baby had the right to be.

"We won't be staying long," she said handing the babbling little boy over to Hermione. "It is too cold for him to stay out and I didn't want to leave him behind this time. Besides, I would rather spend today without all the attention"

As Hermione played with Ronnie, Harry finally managed to break free and come over to join them. He said nothing to Hermione but gave her a long hug. He looked tired, and she said so when she got the chance.

"I know," Harry said with a sigh. "I'd love to blame it on being a new father, but honestly Ronnie sleeps great. I've just had a lot on my mind. This time of year is never easy for me."

Hermione didn't say anything but gave Ronnie back to his mother and slowly wandered away from the group. As she walked, people would occasionally come up and have a word with her. Minerva made a point to see how she was doing; Minister Shaklebolt also came up for a moment to have a word, which only caused all the spectators to whisper. It seemed the morning was passing with agonizing slowness. Finally the time for the ceremony came.

Hermione searched out Arthur and Molly, who were standing with Neville and Luna. As Minister Shaklebolt began to speak, Hermione let her mind wander, not wanting to listen to the words for fear she would begin crying. So far she had not shed a tear and she was hoping to get through the entire day. As she was scanning the crowd, her eyes fell onto the tree that Ron had died under. It was still alive, as it was on the edge of the property and had not been damaged when Riddle Manor was destroyed. She had already decided that she would spend some time there before she left, hoping that would bring some closure to her grief. She had not been back here since the Final Battle.

She turned back to the Minister just in time for him to unveil a new monument they had erected.

"Dear Merlin," she said under her breath grabbing Molly's arm for support. It was a statue of her, Harry and Ron. Harry, of course, was in the middle and she was on his left with Ron on the right. All three appeared to be mid-fight. She could tell from where they were standing that all three of them bore little resemblance to their real life counterparts. Hermione noticed that not only were both Ron and Harry somewhat more muscular than she had remembered them as teenagers but her own dimensions were more than a little off as well. Not to mention she was quite sure she had never worn robes cut that low. It was the most ridiculous thing Hermione had ever seen.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Molly asked tearfully. "We wanted it to be a surprise."

Hermione looked at it trying to conceal her horror. The last thing she ever wanted was to be recognized in such a lurid, public way. She gave Molly a weak smile.

"Well," she finally said, unable to think of what to say. "Ron would have loved it."

Harry was speaking now, clearly still not enjoying the public role he was always forced to take. He kept his words brief, mentioning the contributions of everyone else that day, and appeared to be trying not to run as he stepped away from the podium. They then began to list the names of the people who died during the Second War, excluding, of course, the Death Eaters. Again she tuned out their words. She hated hearing the names, almost all people she had known, and as always, Ron's name was last. She did note, with interest that Draco Malfoy's name was listed as he had finally chosen to fight with the Order. '_Too bad Voldemort killed him almost immediately', _Hermione thought.

Finally, Harry made his way over to her. "Sorry about the statue," he whispered. "I knew you would hate it. I don't care much for it myself; reminds me of that old fountain that used to sit at the Department of Magic. Everyone seemed to think it was the greatest idea, though. At least Ron would have liked it."

Hermione snorted with laughter. "That's what I told Molly." They walked for a while, away from the crowd of people. As they walked she saw George and Natalie, sitting apart from the group. George's eyes were red and Natalie was talking quietly to him. Harry saw them too and they steered away from them giving them privacy.

"So what's going on with you and Snape?" Harry asked suddenly.

Hermione looked over him with shock. Whatever she was expecting him to say, this was not it.

"What do you mean? We're friends."

"That's not what it sounds like," he said steering them around the edge of the property. "I was talking to Minerva earlier. She said the two of you seemed pretty close lately. And that you two are on a first name basis."

"Harry, of course we are. I call you by your first name don't I?" Hermione said laughing. "We would be awfully strange friends if we weren't."

"That's beside the point. Hermione, I've seen how you look at him. It's the same look you used to give Ron."

"I do not!" Hermione felt herself start to blush. "This is nothing like Ron. How could you even compare the two?"

Harry stopped walking and looked at her. "Of course it's nothing like Ron. You were eighteen when Ron died. The point is you can say you're just friends all you want, but it seems obvious to me that there is something else going on."

"Harry, I promise you, there is nothing going on; quite the contrary. In fact, Severus has been avoiding me ever since Christmas."

To Harry, this seemed to add fuel to his argument, but he said nothing. It was obvious Hermione was still oblivious.

"Ok, I'll drop the subject," he said as they resumed walking. "But if he does anything to hurt you, I swear Hermione…"

"Oh stop it," she said rolling her eyes. "Honestly, there is no reason to get so worked up."

Suddenly she looked around and realized where their feet had led them. They were standing in front of the tree where Ron had died. From the look on Harry's face, it was clear he also had not been aware of where they were going. She stood still, staring at it.

"Um…do you want me to give you some time alone?" Harry asked, shuffling his feet uncomfortably.

"Is that okay?" Hermione asked looking over at him. He nodded and walked away toward the crowd on the hill. No one seemed to notice where they were.

She turned back around and stared at the tree for a long time. Finally she walked over to its trunk, running her hand along the bark. And then she saw it, poking just barely through the layer of snow that covered the ground. The root was still there waiting to betray unsure feet. She stumbled her way over to it, dropping to her knees and pushing the snow away with her hands oblivious to the cold. It had been snowy that day as well; perhaps that was why she hadn't seen it.

Suddenly, without registering what she was doing, she began pulling on it. It refused to budge. It suddenly seemed very important to Hermione that this root be destroyed so no one could ever stumble over it again. She fell back, losing her balance and then, from a sitting position, began kicking at it as well. It didn't matter; the tree was old and was not going to give because one young woman was angry at it. She felt tears of frustration well in her eyes and fall onto her face, feeling hot against her cold skin. She began hitting the ground as well; her hands grabbed fists full of snow. She felt herself sobbing, her hair falling into her face.

And then she felt arms wrap around her. She tried to pull away, furious that someone would intrude upon her in this very private moment, but they wouldn't budge any more than the tree root. She twisted herself around in an attempt to push them away and looked up into the face of Severus Snape.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, blinking at him through her tears.

"I thought maybe you could use the company," he said softly.

And then the tears came again. For an eternity, it seemed, she sat in the snow sobbing while Severus sat next to her, his arms wrapped around her. He had never had any intention of attending the ceremony, but the voice in his head had been berating him all morning.

Somewhere in the back of Hermione's mind she thought that she should not be acting this way in front of him, but she couldn't stop the tears once they started. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, her tears began to subside and she finally wiped her face and sat up, staring into the distance. She looked over at him, faintly embarrassed.

"I don't expect you wanted to spend your birthday being cried all over," she said, suddenly conscious of her appearance and tried to dry her eyes and smooth her hair. He reached out and took her hands in his.

"Stop. You do not need to constantly worry about your appearance. You look fine." He looked down at her hands which were red from cold and shaking. He reached into his cloak and pulled out his wand. He pointed it at her hands and said a spell under his breath and slowly her hands stopped shaking.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "I don't know why I didn't think of doing that sooner."

Severus said nothing and they sat in silence both lost in their own thoughts.

"Is this how you felt?" Hermione asked suddenly. Severus looked at her with a confused expression. "After Lily died?"

Severus' first reaction was to walk away, leave. He did not want to have this conversation; certainly not with Hermione of all people. But the look in her eyes kept him where he was. For a long moment he did not speak and he could tell she didn't think he was going to answer.

"After Lily, I thought my life was over. I had tried everything to stop it. When I found out about Voldemort's plans, I went to Albus and told him everything. It was my warning that sent them into hiding in the first place. But it wasn't enough. When I found out they had been betrayed, not just by me but by their closest friend..." He did not continue his sentence, but seemed to be lost in thought. "I did not like James; that is no secret. But I did not wish to see him dead. And Lily…Lily deserved much more than she got out of life."

Hermione said nothing but placed her hand over his as he spoke. Without realizing it he had tightened his grasp over her fingers.

"It is a difficult thing, knowing that you are responsible for someone's death." He looked at Hermione whose eyes had begun to well with tears. "But that is not a burden that you should have to carry with you. It was not your fault, Hermione. Ron did not die because of you. Bellatrix Lestrange was a very powerful witch and when she decided it was time for a person to die, they usually did. Remember, she also killed Sirius who I daresay was a much stronger wizard than Ron Weasley. You must let go of your guilt. He would not want you to be wasting away with grief ten years after his death."

Hermione nodded although tears continued to fall from her eyes. Severus reached out with his gloved hand and brushed them away. She looked at him and smiled.

"When did you become such a gentleman?" she asked now brushing away her own tears.

"I am not a gentleman," Severus said, feigning annoyance. "And I'll have words with anyone who says otherwise."

Slowly he helped her to her feet. Her cloak was soaked through from the snow and he performed the same warming spell on it as he had her hands. They both turned and looked toward the dwindling group near the statue.

"I don't want to go back," Hermione said looking over to Severus.

"That's a relief. I think I have already made my feelings about mingling known." Severus looked over at her, studying her for a moment. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," she said smiling and nodding. "I think I am."

"Good. Because I'm cold and hungry and my cloak is now in desperate need of cleaning." They walked further away from the group in order to apparate. "By the way, that statue is hideous. It doesn't look a thing like you. Weasley would have liked it though."

As they Disapparated, the sound of Hermione's laughter could be heard in the still winter air.


	15. The Bet

Chapter 15- The Bet

"Five points from Gryffindor, Mister Pearson. Hexing another student is never acceptable behavior…even if he is Slytherin's Keeper," Hermione tried to keep her face as stern as her voice but failed miserably and the boy in front of her broke out into a grin. "Do try to restrain yourself until Saturday?"

"Okay, Professor Granger," he said leaving her office and calling over his shoulder. "Thanks!"

Hermione sighed to herself and then smiled. All anyone could talk about was the upcoming Quidditch match. Gryffindor versus Slytherin. Even she, who had never understood the finer points of Quidditch, was looking forward to it.

It seemed amazing how quickly the weeks had flown by since the Anniversary. It was as if a giant weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she was finally able to let go of the guilt that had haunted her since Ron's death. The weather had turned warmer and the snow had begun to melt and before she knew it, it was the end of March and the biggest Quidditch match of the year was almost upon them.

She closed her office and headed down to the staffroom. She had taken to grading down there often now, instead of in her office. She told herself it was nice to have a change of scenery and it had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that Severus had also started doing most of his work in the staffroom as well, but she wasn't sure how much she believed herself.

As she opened the door and looked in, she noticed that Severus was already settled in and partway through a very long roll of parchment. Clearly he was doing seventh year essays.

She settled down across a table from him. He looked up for a second and returned to his work. Most of their time was spent in silence with only an occasional conversation.

"Arnold Harper came to see me a short while ago," he said, still not looking up and continued to grade.

"Oh?" Hermione said, hoping to sound curious. "What did he want?"

"You know very well what he wanted." Severus now put down his quill and looked at her. "It took Madam Pomfrey the better part of an hour to get his hands unstuck."

Hermione couldn't help but let a small smile cross her face. "Well, that's a relief. It would have been very hard for him to play Quidditch with his hands stuck together." Severus glared at her and she sighed. "I have spoken to Garrett about it and told him that this has to stop. I'll have you know I deducted points as well."

"Well, that's the least of what that boy deserved."

"Oh, now don't get all high and mighty on me. Both of the Gryffindor Beaters were found locked in a broom cupboard yesterday in the old classroom Firenze used to use. It's a miracle anyone found them. Filch said that he hadn't been in that room in over a year!"

This time it was a small smile that crept across Severus' face. "Yes, its amazing what the students will come up with isn't it?"

Hermione just huffed and turned her attention back to her work. Severus, however, did not and continued studying her for several long moments as if debating something.

"Why are you staring at me?" she asked lifting her eyes up at him.

"I was just thinking…"

"Yes?"

"Well, with all the excitement about the upcoming match, perhaps we should make a bet."

Hermione stopped writing all together and looked at him. "Oh really? Do you think that is a wise idea? From what I understand this is the best team Gryffindor's had since Harry was Seeker."

"Yes, I think in the spirit of inter-house unity, which you seem to love so dearly, that perhaps a friendly wager would be in order."

"Hmm…" Hermione looked at him clearly skeptical. "I've never known you to do anything 'friendly'. What do you want if you win?"

Severus gave her a long look and then she saw his eyes gleam with triumph. "If Slytherin wins, then you have to grade all my seventh year essays."

"That's nothing more than an excuse to get me to do your work for you!" Hermione said laughing. "Well, then if that is the case, I shall think of something even worse for you to do if Gryffindor wins."

"There's no need," Severus said waving his hand dismissively. "They won't."

Hermione just rolled her eyes and returned to her work. Some days it was like Severus Snape was a completely different person from the one she used to know. Although they had never spoken of the events at Christmas and at Phoenix Park, they had begun spending more and more time in each other's company. Often times they lingered for over an hour after dinner discussing everything from their classes, to Severus' new discoveries with Potions to Flitwick's book, which they both had read. Some times Hermione would talk about her life growing up and what it was like to be a Muggle, however Severus never spoke of his own childhood. Hermione got the impression it was not a happy one and so they didn't discuss it.

"So, what's it going to be?" Severus asked, intruding upon her thoughts. Hermione looked up at him, startled.

"Oh…um…I'll need to think about it for a while. I'll need to think of something really good if I have seventh year Potions essays staring me in the face."

They continued working in comfortable silence, occasionally one of them pausing to glance up at the other. Finally, after Hermione had looked up at Severus once again, only to suddenly avert her eyes when he did the same, did she realize how silly they were being.

'_For crying out loud, we are adults, not teenagers,' s_he thought to herself. More and more it was clear that her feelings for Severus were more than just friendly. It was then she realized that she was going to have to give him a push if their relationship was ever going to be anything more than what it already was. She smiled to herself as inspiration hit. It was perfect.

"Okay, Severus, I have come up with it."

"Well, let's hear my fate then. What is it going to be? Manual labor? Torture?"

"No, something much more simple," she said with a smile. "A date."

She watched the display of emotions play out on Severus' face. First shock, with a hint of embarrassment, then nervousness, then, to Hermione's dismay, it settled on anger.

"You think to make a joke?" he said rising from the table, gathering his things together.

"No! No…I," she was unable to finish as he cut her off.

"You thought a date would be comparable to forced labor? Your sense of humor is lacking, Miss Granger." He was walking toward the door.

"Wait! Severus!" Hermione ran after him and managed to slam the door shut the second before he slipped through. "I didn't… I didn't mean an insult by it. Honestly I just thought the way we've been acting is silly, like teenagers really. I thought if I just forced the issue…"

"What? You thought what?"

"Well…I thought maybe you would think it was a good idea too." Her voice trailed off and she found herself too embarrassed to look up at him.

"You didn't mean it as a joke?" he asked, sounding as unsure of him self as she did.

"Honestly, I didn't. I'm sorry Severus. It was a silly idea. Forget about it."

He said nothing but she opened the door and walked away with what she hoped was a certain amount of dignity. He stared after her, torn between going after her or running and hiding. He finally decided on the latter and retreated to his room.

_Why would she suggest such a thing? She couldn't possibly have an interest in me. She's smart, beautiful…wait…she's not beautiful. Passable at best. Except at Longbottom's wedding, she was beautiful then. Well, and sometimes when she's angry she… what am I thinking? This is Know-it-all Granger for Merlin's sake and I'm acting like a hormonal teenager who can't wait to get her in the nearest broom closet._

Severus contemplated that thought for a long moment and then buried his head in his hands. "I've lost my mind."

* * *

Saturday morning was warm and sunny and the last of the winter's snow had melted during the week. Breakfast in the Great Hall was rowdier than usual with the requisite boos and cheers that went along with each team's entrance. Both Hermione and Severus had been more subdued that week and the incident in the staffroom had not been mentioned by either.

After breakfast had been finished the entire school and staff headed out to the Quidditch pitch. Hermione was dressed in red and gold robes that she saved specially for these types of occasions and she sat next to Severus who was dressed in his usual black.

The game got off to a quick start with Gryffindor getting the Quaffle. They scored quickly and Hermione cheered with the rest of Gryffindor. It was the last cheering she would do for a while. It was a very physical game and clearly Slytherin's team members were larger. As the minutes ticked by, they scored goal after goal and soon it was 110-10 with Slytherin in the lead.

"I hope you have your quill ready," Severus said with a smirk as the Slytherin's scored once again.

Hermione was about to respond when she saw Garrett Pearson, Gryffindor's Seeker, suddenly accelerating on his broom. The Slytherin seeker saw him too and took off after him. The Slytherin had the faster broom and he caught up quickly. The two were neck and neck reaching for the snitch, and then suddenly a Bludger came out of nowhere smashing into the Slytherin's broom, knocking him away, leaving Pearson free to grab the snitch.

The entire Gryffindor section, and a good portion of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw as well, were screaming themselves hoarse. Hermione was also jumping up and down cheering, and even Minerva was clapping a little louder than usual.

She turned and saw Severus still sitting looking out on the Quidditch pitch that was filled with celebrating Gryffindors.

"Well, it looks like I'm not going to need that quill after all," she said sitting down, breathless from her yelling, her hair falling into her eyes.

"Seven o'clock," Severus said, still not looking at her.

"Excuse me?"

"I will be picking you up at seven o'clock. For you to collect on your bet."

"Oh…Severus…you don't have to…" Hermione suddenly felt horribly guilty. Severus turned his head staring down at her.

"Are you backing out?" Somewhere behind the look of bored annoyance he was giving her, Hermione could swear she saw fear.

"Well…no. I just don't want you to do this because you have to."

"Then why do you want me to do it?"

"Well…because you want to." Hermione chewed on her lip feeling horribly exposed by her words. How had she gotten herself into this?

"I see. So… seven o'clock?"

Hermione looked at him and smiled. "Okay."


	16. Seven o'clock

_Thanks so much for everyones reviews. They make my day! Also thanks to RenitaLeandra whose done such a great job!_

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Chapter 16- Seven o'clock

Seven o'clock arrived much quicker that Hermione would have liked. She spent most of the day furiously trying on robes and then cursing herself for turning into the kind of person who furiously tried on robes.

'_What is wrong with me? Severus isn't going to care what I wear. And since when have I really cared what he thought anyway? Really, Hermione, you are acting positively silly.' _

She finally settled on the emerald green robes, but she cursed her hair over and over as it refused to cooperate; her shaky hands unable to accomplish anything. Finally she managed to pull it back into a knot and prayed that it wouldn't all fall out before the evening was done.

Exactly as her clock was chiming seven, she heard a knock on her door. She went to open it and saw Severus standing there, looking as nervous and out of place as she felt. He had also dressed up for the occasion and for the first time she noticed that his hair, which was pulled back, had begun to grey at the temples giving him a rather distinguished look. They looked at each other for a very long awkward moment before Hermione finally spoke.

"Uh…hello," she said nervously.

"Hello," Severus said and cleared his throat. Suddenly Hermione began to giggle. He gave her a questioning look.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said calming herself down. "But all this awkwardness reminded me of going to the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum when I was in fourth year. Do you remember? Probably not. I daresay that evening was more memorable for me than it was for you; all that childish nonsense. Anyway, I remember he and I didn't even speak for nearly the first half hour we were so nervous. It just seems so silly to me that here we are acting like a couple of children when we're both grown adults." She suddenly realized that she was babbling nervously and they had started down the staircase while she talked.

"Actually, I have quite a good memory of the Yule Ball," Severus said with something close to a grimace. "Not that I enjoyed it in the least. As I recall I ended up with a splitting headache after being forced into listening to the Weird Sisters for hours."

"Yes, well I never thought my feet would be the same again. Viktor Krum was much more graceful on a broom than he was on his feet. He stomped all over them that night." Hermione smiled at the memory. Severus was now leading her out of the front doors. "Where are we going?"

"Not far." He led her away from the castles in the direction, she noticed, of one of the greenhouses. As they reached it he opened the door and she walked in. Inside, the greenhouse had been transformed from the classroom that it usually was into a beautiful flower garden. All sorts of exotic flowers, bushes and trees, both magical and non-magical lined the walls and filled the ground. There was a path leading to a small table that had been set. Nearby there was a house-elf clearly trying to fade into the background. Hermione looked at Severus in surprise.

"You did this? It's beautiful!"

"Pomona owed me a favor," Severus said as they walked to the table. "Quite a large one, actually."

"Even so, I had no idea you were such a romantic."

"I suppose I will have to be completely honest with you," Severus said sighing heavily.

"What do you mean?"

"I told Pomona what I wanted it for. She was so excited she insisted on doing everything for me. Had it been up to me we probably would be using buckets as chairs and Merlin knows what we would be eating."

Hermione laughed and Severus seemed to visibly relax. They both sat and the house-elf brought over their first course along with a bottle of elf-made wine.

"Well, I will have to commend her for a job well done the next time I see her," Hermione said sipping her wine.

"Well, if there is one thing I don't want, it's for people to think that I'm romantic," Severus said with a smirk.

"Heavens no!"

The tension had broken and the evening passed pleasantly for both of them. Apparently Professor Sprout had let Professor McGonagall in on the secret and Minerva had gone down to the kitchens to personally oversee the food preparations. As a result, the food was as exquisite as the setting.

The conversation was also pleasant as they discussed an experimental potion that Severus was working on. It was a mind-strengthening potion that, according to Severus, could be used to help people who had lost their minds from magical causes. He said that the idea had come to him when reading a study of the Longbottoms in _Magical Maladies Monthly _and he was hoping to test it soon. They debated the pros and cons of such tests and it was refreshing to Severus to be able to discuss his work with someone he considered an intellectual equal. It occurred to him, as the house-elves served their dessert and poured yet another glass of wine, that this was possibly one of the most enjoyable evenings of his life. Hermione was the only person in recent memory who genuinely seemed to enjoy his company. Even as they continued to talk, she was leaning forward as if completely intent on what he was saying.

Hermione was also thinking about how enjoyable the evening had been. Severus was a much more pleasant and interesting person than anyone ever gave him credit for. He had a brilliant mind and he had made enormous breakthroughs with his potion experiments. As he poured her more wine she felt enormously at ease and comfortable, as if they had been friends for years.

Severus looked at Hermione as they finished their meals. Clearly she had had more wine than she was used to, as her eyes were beginning to droop.

"Are you falling asleep? Am I really that boring?" he teased.

"Oh no! I promise you're not! I just feel so relaxed," Hermione said, leaning back in her chair. "I don't know what's come over me."

Severus stood up and walked over to her, holding out his hand. She took it and he pulled her to her feet leading her toward the door.

"Come," he said as they walked. "It is obvious that you are not used to drinking. I don't want to be responsible for returning you drunk to your rooms, so why don't we go for a walk around the lake to clear your head."

"That sounds like a lovely idea," Hermione said as the cool night air hit her face. It was a beautiful night, although it still had the chill of early spring. Hermione looked up at the sky and saw that the moon was almost full. She could hear the Giant Squid splashing in the water, also apparently enjoying the beautiful night. They walked in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts.

"I have had a wonderful evening," Hermione said as they turned back toward the castle.

"So, have I fulfilled the obligations of the bet to your satisfaction?" Severus asked, clearly amused.

Hermione looked at him with a grin. "If I say no, will you take me out again?"

Severus laughed. It was a rich, clear sound that echoed across the lake.

"Insufferable wench! You are as scheming as the best Slytherin." They stopped walking and he looked down at her, his dark eyes staring into hers. "I was planning on that anyway."

He lowered his head and suddenly his lips were on hers, softly at first and then harder and more insistent. She groaned as he deepened the kiss, running her hands through his hair as he pulled her against him. After several long minutes, he lifted his head and looked at her.

"Oh," was all she could manage choke out. "That was nice."

Severus arched an eyebrow. "Nice? Surely I can do better than that."

And his lips were back on hers, kissing her passionately. Hermione felt her legs give out, whether from the wine or from Severus, she didn't know, and he lowered her to the ground pressing against her. She felt dizzy and light headed but he didn't stop. For what seemed an eternity they lay there under the moonlight, with Hermione's arms wrapped around him and Severus slowly kissing his way down from her mouth to her neck. Finally he stopped, panting and looked down at her.

"Well…that was _very _nice," Hermione managed to say once she caught her breath. Severus smirked.

"Yes, well, I'm afraid that if we don't stop now, I'll be returning you to your rooms in worse condition than just drunk," Severus said before pressing one last lingering kiss to her lips. He then stood up and looked down at her. Hermione's hair had long since come loose and had bits of grass stuck in it. Her lips were red from kissing and her robes wrinkled beyond hope. And Severus thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

"We better go in," he said pulling her up. "Before the Giant Squid gets more of a show than he bargained for."

Hermione blushed so deep Severus could see it in the moonlight and they headed into the castle. He walked her up to her quarters and paused at the door. He leaned over and kissed her chastely on the cheek.

"Good night Hermione," he whispered.

Hermione watched him turn and walk back down the hall before she let herself into her room. She felt lighthearted as she prepared herself for bed. That night she did not use her Memory Crystal and slept peacefully the whole night.

Hermione was woken from her sleep early the next morning with a loud knock on her door. Her head was pounding, no doubt from the wine she had drank and she grumbled as she climbed out of bed.

"Ugh! I'm coming…" She threw the door open revealing Minerva looking pale and shaken. "Minerva? What's wrong?

"Hermione, you might want to sit down," the woman said, nearly in tears.

Suddenly Hermione was hit with a wave of panic. What on earth could be so wrong as to bring Minerva McGonagall to tears?

"Minerva, why don't you just tell me what's going on."

"Oh, Hermione. There's been an accident."


	17. At St Mungo's

_A/N: I can't even tell you how much sick enjoyment I got out of your reviews... hehe... So I'm taking pity on you and posting the next chapter. Thanks again to RenitaLeandra who caught some huge inconsistencies._

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Chapter 17- At St. Mungo's

Hermione stood, breathless, outside the hospital ward. The doors were closed although if she pressed her ear to it hard enough she could hear faint murmuring and what she thought sounded like groans of pain. She tried to breathe a sigh a relief. If he was groaning then he was alive. She looked at Minerva who was standing next to her.

"What happened?"

"I don't know," Minerva said honestly. "He was working on a new potion and it appears that the cauldron exploded. It was some of his students that found him. They had heard the explosion from their common room and went to go see what it was. The room was on fire. They used their wands to put it out and managed to pull him out and one of them came to get me."

Hermione nodded trying to remain calm. The door to the hospital ward creaked open and Madam Pomfrey slipped through. Her face was pale and drawn.

"Poppy?" Hermione looked at her anxiously. "Is…is he going to be alright?"

"I gave him a potion for the pain, but he passed out before it took effect." Poppy looked shaken and it reminded Hermione of the night the Death Eaters had attacked Hogwarts. "I won't lie to you, he has been very seriously injured. He has burns…" her voice cracked and she was forced to take several deep breaths before she continued. "He has burns over much of his body. Once he is more stable, we will be transferring him to St. Mungo's."

"But he will be alright won't he?" Hermione's voice crept higher with panic.

"I don't know," Poppy whispered. "The potion has caused burns that are resisting Healing. Perhaps at St. Mungo's they will be able to do more for him."

Hermione felt tears fall onto her cheeks and she brushed them away quickly.

"Can I see him?"

"Hermione, he's…he's very badly burned. And he's not awake. He won't know you are there."

"I don't care!" Hermione felt her temper rising. "I want to see him."

Poppy gave Minerva a desperate look who merely shrugged her shoulders. Then she nodded and opened the door allowing Hermione in. There was a curtain drawn across the bed that Severus was sleeping in and Hermione cautiously walked around it. On the other side of the curtain she saw a figure, recognizable as Severus only by the black hair. His body, including his face, was heavily wrapped in bandages. He lay still on the sheets, his breathing shallow and rasping. Hermione stood, staring for a moment before she sat down on the chair next to him. She was too afraid to touch him, unwilling to cause him any more pain than he was already in. After several minutes, Poppy and Minerva also came around the curtain.

"Hermione," Minerva whispered, coming to stand close to her chair. "The Healers from St. Mungo's are here."

Hermione nodded and stood up and Minerva gently led her out of the room as the Healers came in.

"Minerva, I would like to go to St. Mungo's when they transfer him."

"I thought you probably would," Minerva said as they walked into the hallway. "Hermione, I hope you won't be upset with me, but I owled Harry a short while ago. I think it's important that someone is with you while you're in London."

Hermione said nothing but nodded.

"I did not, however, fill him in on certain recent developments between you and Severus. I felt that was not my place."

"Thank you, Minerva. I will go pack a small bag. If it is alright with you, I will return tomorrow. Will you be able to find replacements if I miss classes tomorrow?"

Minerva smiled but there was a sad look in her eyes. "Hermione, I also had to owl the Minister about this. Honestly, I will be surprised if there are classes tomorrow."

This news was too much for Hermione and she collapsed against Minerva sobbing. The fear of losing both Severus and Hogwarts was too much for her to bear. For a long time she stood there crying as Minerva tried her best to calm her. Finally, she could cry no more and she stood, feeling dazed.

"You had better go pack that bag. Severus needs you more than we do right now."

Hermione nodded and thanked her and walked down the hall to her room.

* * *

"Hermione!" The voice called her from down the hall of St. Mungo's. Hermione looked up from the chair she was sitting in to see Harry running down the hall. "I just got McGonagall's owl," he said breathlessly.

"Harry, thank you for coming," she said, trying to choke back tears.

"What happened? All McGonagall said was that Snape was hurt and you would most likely be coming here and she wondered if you could stay with me."

"Apparently he was badly burned while working on an experimental potion. Madam Pomfrey wasn't able to heal him. So they…he…" Her voice broke and she was unable to continue talking.

Harry stared at her for a long moment and then put his arms around her in a hug. "Merlin, Hermione. You're in love with him aren't you?"

This was all it took for Hermione to begin crying once again. The one thought she had been trying to force out of her mind all morning had just come out of someone else's mouth. '_Was it that obvious?'_ she thought to herself.

"I don't know how it happened, Harry. One day we were friends and the next we were something else."

"It will be okay," he said trying to think of a comforting thing to say, even as the thought of Hermione and Snape in love made him feel sick to his stomach. He heard a noise behind him and turned around to see a Healer standing there.

"I'm Healer Dawson," the slight young man said. "You are here for Severus Snape, correct?"

Hermione nodded her head, sniffing loudly.

"Well, Mister Snape has regained consciousness and although we have not been able to completely heal his burns, he is at least out of danger."

"What do you mean 'not completely heal'?" Hermione asked, continuing to wipe her eyes.

"Well, there will be some…um…scaring." Healer Dawson was now shifting uncomfortably back and forth on his feet.

"What kind of scaring?"

"Well," Dawson cleared his throat nervously and Hermione was becoming increasingly annoyed. "Parts of Mister Snape's face, neck and chest will have some scars, but the brunt of the damage was sustained on his hands. They have been heavily…um…damaged."

"His hands? What do you mean?"

"Well, we had a particularly difficult time Healing them given how saturated they were with the potion. He will, in time, regain the use of them, but he will have lost most of his dexterity and will be able to use them only for basic functions."

"But he is a Potion's Master!" Hermione's voice was edged with panic. "How will he do his work?"

"I am sorry, Ma'am." The Healer sounded more nervous than sorry.

"Can I see him?"

At this the man became even more nervous, frequently looking at the door he had come out of.

"Well, Mister Snape is a little, um, agitated at the moment. I'm not sure having any visitors would be a good idea at this time."

"First of all _Healer_ Dawson," Hermione began, her voice dripping with anger, "your patient is a professor, and should be addressed as such. Second, if you think I am going to sit out here for fear that he might be a little upset, you are clearly mistaken. I _demand_ you let me into that room!"

Hermione then did not wait for permission but forced her way beyond the man and through the doors. Before the door swung shut, she thought she heard him mutter, "Well they're quite a pair."

She stood looking down the long row of beds. She determined that the one with the curtains drawn again must be Severus'. She walked over to it and he was again lying flat on his back, this time with his eyes open. She glanced down and saw that his hands were heavily bandaged. She moved closer; part of his face and neck appeared to be covered in a spider web of scars that disappeared beneath the sheet that was drawn all the way up his chest. His eyes flickered toward her as she moved.

"Leave." His voice was raspy as if it too was scarred.

"No. You cannot get rid of me that easily." Hermione sat firmly in the chair.

"Leave now. I do not want to see you."

The words stung but Hermione reminded herself that this was how Severus dealt with hardship. To lash out at anyone who tried to help.

"Severus, you're not going to scare me."

"I do not intend to scare you, you silly girl. I am simply speaking the truth." Severus glared at her. "What are you doing here?"

"I…I thought you could use the company."

"Just because we had one evening together does not mean that I am in need of your company. You are wasting your time here." Severus turned his head and closed his eyes as if to dismiss her.

"Do not turn away from me Severus Snape!" Hermione growled. Still he did not open his eyes or acknowledge her in any way. She sat for several minutes but still he did not respond. She stood up and walked over to him. She was now close enough to see every mark, every flaw on his scarred face.

"If you think I will give up so easily, then you are sorely mistaken. I will leave for now, but I will be back tomorrow. And if you will not see me then I will be back the day after that and the day after that. You will not be rid of me, I swear it." She spoke in a whisper so close to him that he could feel her breath. The she pressed her lips softly to his skin, just below the ear and walked away. She did not see his eyes following her as she walked out the door.


	18. Harry's Confrontation

Chapter 18- Harry's Confrontation

_Dear Hermione,_

_I have owled Harry as well, but please extend my thanks to him again in regards to his help with Minister Shackelbolt. I believe his well placed words regarding his feeling towards Hogwarts went a long way towards keeping our doors open. _

_I have also been in contact with the Healers at St Mungo's and I am relieved to know that Professor Snape is out of danger and is on his way to recovery. I have teachers covering his classes for the rest of the year to allow him time to recover._

_I understand your desire to remain in London with Professor Snape but we will be glad for your return, whenever that may be. I also understand that Professor Snape is still refusing to have visitors, however if there is any change, please give him my regards._

_Sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall_

Hermione sighed as she refolded the letter and set it on Harry's kitchen table.

"Who was that from?" Harry asked walking into the kitchen with an empty baby bottle.

"Minerva. She knows Severus is refusing to see me and wants me to come back to Hogwarts."

Harry raised his eyebrows in surprise. "She said that?"

"No. But that's what she meant." Hermione sighed resting her head on her arms. She had left her Memory Crystal at Hogwarts and her dreams were more troubling every night. That combined with long hours at St. Mungo's staring at Severus pretending to sleep were taking their toll.

"I hate to say it, Hermione, but it's been almost a week and he still will not speak to you. You know I don't mind you being here, but how long are you going to do this? Look at you! You're not sleeping, you barely eat. I'm worried about you."

"Oh, honestly. There is nothing for you to worry about. I'll stay another day or so and then head back to Hogwarts. You're right. It's time for me to be going back." She gave Harry a sad smile and then went into the guest room, closing the door before he had a chance to respond.

"What was that about?" asked Ginny walking into the room, Ronnie crawling after her.

"McGonagall wants Hermione back at Hogwarts. She said she's going to leave the day after tomorrow."

"Snape still won't speak to her will he?"

Harry shook his head. "No." Then he stood up, grabbing his wand and cloak and walked toward the door.

"Harry? Where are you going?" Ginny looked over at her husband. He walked back over to her giving her a quick kiss.

"To go talk some sense into Snape. I'm not going to watch Hermione suffer any more."

* * *

Severus Snape stared at the ceiling. Six days he had been staring at that ceiling and it was no more interesting now than it was the first day. The only thing worse than staring at the ceiling, was pretending to sleep with Hermione sitting next to him. She sat so close he could hear her breathe. Sometimes she would talk; either babbling about nothing at all or, what was worse, begging him to open his eyes. This was usually followed by crying, which was the worst of all. He had lost count of how many times he had nearly opened his eyes, but the fear of seeing pity in her eyes was too great.

'_Poor pathetic Severus Snape. As if he wasn't pathetic enough before, now he is scarred and crippled'. _He was sure that's what everyone must be thinking.

He heard the sound of the door opening and he quickly shut his eyes in case it was _her._ Sure enough he heard the sound of someone walking around the curtain and stopping at the foot of his bed.

"You might as well stop pretending, Snape. I'm not going to be horrified by your appearance. In case you haven't noticed, my face has seen better days as well." The voice was not the soft voice he had been expecting but hard and cold and angry and male. The surprise forced his eyes open and he started up at Harry Potter.

"What do you want Potter? Come to gloat over my deformed body?" Severus sneered up at the young man.

"You really are thick, aren't you Snape? What do you think I'm doing here?" He walked over next to the bed and Severus propped himself up, refusing to allow Harry to tower completely over him. "I'm here because my best friend is over in my flat right now wasting away. She won't eat; at night I hear her crying in her sleep from her nightmares. She's been here every day for a week and you don't even have the courage to look at her."

Severus swallowed hard. He had thought that surely Hermione would give up, go back to her life and forget about him. However Harry continued his tirade.

"I am here because Hermione, for reasons I cannot begin to fathom, has fallen in love with you and I'll be damned if I'll watch her heart get broken again."

'_No. He's lying. She could not possibly love me.' _"What gave you that ridiculous idea, Potter?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

"What do you think? Because she told me!" Harry leaned in close, his voice low but furious. "She is going back to Hogwarts day after tomorrow at McGonagall's request. I swear to you, if she leaves as sad as she arrived, you will pay for it."

Snape glared furiously at Harry. '_How DARE he threaten me!'_ he thought furiously to himself for a long moment. But he found it hard to keep up his anger for long.

"I'm trying to do her a favor, Potter," he finally managed to croak out. "I am no use to her like this. Deformed, hideous. She needs to move on."

Harry looked at Severus with a certain amount of shock. He hadn't expected Severus to even acknowledge what he was saying let alone try to explain himself. He gave Severus a long look and all he saw looking back was fear and self-loathing.

"Don't you think she should decide that for herself? Merlin knows _I_ don't understand it, but she seems to think you're worth all this time and trouble. Don't waste it." And then Harry turned and walked out of the room. Severus sighed and laid back, staring at the ceiling ignoring the voice in his head yelling louder than Harry had.

* * *

Hermione walked into Severus' ward for what she had decided was the last time. Harry was right; Minerva was right. It was time to return to Hogwarts. He wouldn't even speak to her; there was no sense in continuing to waste her time. She walked around the curtain and sat down in her chair and stared for a long time at Severus. His hands were no longer bandaged, although they were heavily scarred and he was not yet able to move his fingers His eyes were closed, his breathing deep. She would have thoughthe was sleeping if she wasn't so sure he was continuing to ignore her.

"Good morning Severus," she said pausing, hoping for some sort of response. "I received an owl from Minerva yesterday and I'll be returning to Hogwarts tomorrow." Again she paused, but no response. She felt her eyes fill with tears and she cursed herself under her breath. She was tired of crying; tired of being sad.

"So, this is my last visit. I cannot continue to sit here day after day to have you lay there pretending to be asleep. So, I just came to tell you good-bye." Still no response. "Well, good-bye Severus." She sat on the edge of the bed, the mattress creaking from her weight. In the remote chance he was actually asleep, this would surely wake him up. But still, nothing. She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"I love you," she whispered and stared at him hard for a long moment. Then she stood up and turned around.

"Don't go." The words were quiet and for a second she thought she was imagining it. She turned around and Severus was looking at her.

"Please," he whispered. "Don't go."

Hermione walked back to his bed, sitting back on it.

"Why have you been doing this? Why have you refused to look at me?"

Severus looked away for a moment trying to find the right words. Explaining himself was not an easy thing to do.

"I didn't want to see you pity me. I don't want you to be here because you feel sorry for me." Severus cringed to himself. In his mind he sounded pathetic and childish. But Hermione smiled at him.

"I do not pity you. You would never allow it of me. Severus, you are the same person you were before this happened. You have scars, but they do not change who you are. So why would that change how I think of you?"

Severus did not answer her. He could not think of anything to say that would not reveal more of himself than he could bear. But he stared at her for a long moment. Suddenly he began struggling to sit up and Hermione reached over and helped him up, pillows against his back. Finally he found the words and spoke again.

"Hermione, I am not one that likes to reveal myself to people. To me, showing emotion is a sign of weakness and I _will not_ appear weak. I will never be able to give you flowery words and poetry."

"I understand," Hermione said looking down on him. "I have never been one who cared about those things anyway. Severus, I do not need you to spout fancy words at me for me to know how you feel."

"And I'm moody," Severus grumbled, almost more to himself than to her, but Hermione just laughed.

"Are you trying to talk me out of this? I have known you most of my life. Since I was eleven years old and you refused to call on me when I knew all the answers. I think I know your moods."

Severus couldn't help but laugh quietly to himself at the memory whilte she smiled, sitting beside him. Then he suddenly looked very serious and leaned forward.

"Hermione, there is something I must ask."

"What?"

"Did you memorize _all_ your books before arriving at Hogwarts your first year?"

"Um…I might have," Hermione said laughing and blushing at the same time. Severus also chuckled.

"I had asked those questions every year since I started teaching and you were the only one to know all the answers." His face then grew more serious. "You are the most brilliant witch I have ever known."

Hermione blushed even more furiously and felt at a loss for words. She was saved from speech, however, as Severus leaned over and kissed her. It was long and passionate and after several increasingly frantic moments Hermione found herself on top of him, their arms and legs tangled with sheets and clothes.

"Do you have any idea how long I have wanted you like this?" Severus murmured between kisses. "Our date ended far too quickly."

Hermione again found herself speechless, but it did not appear to bother Severus in the least. He was keeping her mouth far too busy to respond anyway. Just as she felt his hands slip inside her robes, however, she heard a nervous clearing of the throat coming from behind them. They both froze and she turned her head to see Healer Dawson staring at them, red faced and open mouthed.

"I…um…I…uh…came to check your bandages," he finally managed to stutter out.

"Check them later," growled Severus. There was a little squeak and Healer Dawson disappeared again. Severus turned back to Hermione and sighed with regret when he saw her straightening her clothes and hair.

"So what is this about you leaving?" Severus asked as Hermione self-consciously returned back to the chair. She looked at him and gave him a brilliant smile.

"I might be persuaded to stay another couple days."


	19. Because of Dumbledore

_A/N: So, this is it! The last chapter! I hope you have enjoyed the story. Thanks to everyone who reviewed_

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Chapter 19- Because of Dumbledore

The sun was bright and the weather was warm as Hermione lounged on the school grounds. She looked around at the students who were also enjoying the weather and celebrating the end of exams. She laid back on the grass, closed her eyes and reflected on the last several months. Severus had returned to Hogwarts after spending close to a month at St. Mungo's. His hands were still heavily damaged but he was beginning to regain some of their use and the Healers had high hopes for a better recovery than they initially thought.

Once Severus had returned, as he was unable to do the practical portions of the Potions classes, Hermione, Professor Sprout and Madam Pomfrey had all helped in following his direction to brew the necessary potions for the students. Hermione felt she had learned more in the last couple months than she had her seven years as a student. Often times in the evenings she and Severus would sit while he explained his theories regarding the new potions he was developing and the improvements he had made on many old ones. They would spend hours discussing all subjects of magical theory, often times heatedly debating. Frequently, Hermione would show up for her first class of the morning with bleary eyes and yawning after only a few hours sleep.

She smiled to herself as she lay on the grass thinking of Severus. He was still irritable and frustrating and prone to bouts of general nastiness, but she saw a side of him now, that she never could have imagined. One that was kind and attentive and fiercely protective. It was strange, no doubt, but oddly it made sense as well. She thought back to her younger years, when Ron was still alive. She had no doubt that she would have been very happy with him and would have had a wonderful life as his wife. But his death had changed her and the kind of life that would have fulfilled her then no longer would. She found herself very happy with Severus and the quiet evenings they had together. A shadow fell over her and she opened her eyes seeing someone standing over her.

"Ten points from Gryffindor," she heard Severus say and he reached down and pulled her up.

"For what?" she smiled up at him.

"For causing the Potions Master to have indecent thoughts," he whispered in her ear and she shivered. She looked over and saw a group of students looking over at them and whispering.

"They're staring," she said motioning to the students. Severus just raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Then perhaps we should go somewhere more private." He held out an arm for her and she took it. He led her away from the students. They walked for a moment and Hermione realized he was leading her off the grounds.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see," Severus said mysteriously as they reached the edge of the property. "We are going to be Apparating, but since you don't know where we're going, we'll do side-along Apparition."

Hermione looked at him curiously but said nothing. She tightened her hold on his arm unconsciously as she felt the tightening that accompanied Apparition. The next moment Hermione realized she was in a forest, not unlike the Forbidden Forest, and a blue lake glittering in the background. She looked at Severus.

"Where are we?"

"It is a forest, not all that far from Hogwarts. In fact, the Hogwarts Express goes through it further to the south. I used to come here, on occasion, when the walls of my home became too confining." He did not look at her as he spoke. Clearly this was not an easy thing to share. "Come with me."

He led her away from where they had Apparated and toward the lake. As they cleared the trees, Hermione saw a blanket was already laid on the grass with a small basket next to it. She smiled, delighted.

"A picnic? And you said you weren't romantic."

"I'm not." He tried to act stern. "Would you rather I let you go hungry?"

Hermione just laughed and gave him a look that let him know he wasn't fooling anyone and walked over to the blanket, sitting down. He joined her, sitting somewhat stiffly, as if he wasn't used to sitting on the ground. She looked into the basket and then looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

"More elf-made wine?"

"Well, it worked so well for me the first time," Severus could not help the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile.

Hermione pulled out the rest of the food- cold meat, fruit, cheese and bread and together they began eating. The food and the wine were good. After Hermione had eaten 'til she was stuffed and drank several glasses of wine she slumped back onto the ground with a sigh. She looked up at Severus who was staring down at her.

"Are you going to miss it?" she asked suddenly.

"Hogwarts?" he asked and she nodded. He thought for a while.

"Perhaps. But I will be keeping busy with my research. Besides I don't think Hogwarts is big enough for two Professor Snapes."

Hermione laughed and unconsciously fiddled with the ring on her left hand. She lifted it up so she could watch it sparkle in the sunlight.

"It's very pretty, you know."

"I'm glad you think so. I never cared much for the Prince side of my family, or the Snapes for that matter, and they were not as wealthy as some of the pure-bloods, but they did have some nice family heirlooms."

"Minerva told me she found a new Potion's professor," Hermione said changing the subject. The topic of Severus' family was never a pleasant one for him.

"Yes. Adrian Abernathy. He was a Slytherin a few years behind me. He will be passable I suppose. He has done some research into increasing the potency of Wolfsbane." Severus looked down at her and brushed a stray hair out of her face. "You would be better though."

"Well, I think my Charms classes would end up a little neglected," Hermione laughed. "You did say that you would only stay one year, if I remember correctly. It appears that you have followed through on that."

Severus thought back to the previous summer and his first meeting with Hermione. He remembered how thin and tired she looked; so unlike the vibrant woman in front of him now. He also remembered with a sly smile how she had insulted him into coming back to Hogwarts using his own tactics against him. '_I should have known then that I was in trouble', _he thought.

Hermione took a hold of his hand, pulling him down with her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss.

"What were you smiling about just now?" she asked breathlessly.

"I was just thinking how very sly and cunning you were last summer trying to convince me to return."

"I didn't think I was being cunning. I was terrified and sure I was going to fail. Why did you come anyway?"

Severus thought long and hard trying to remember what had possessed him. "You asked me what Dumbledore would think. Albus was the only person in the world that had ever cared about me. I couldn't stand the thought of letting him down and seeing his school close."

"So we have Dumbledore to thank? I think he would have liked that."

"Yes," Severus said as he bent his head down toward hers. "I think he would." And in the back of his mind, for the first time in years, it was quiet._  
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End file.
